7 stages of a relationship that you must go through for true love

We choose our husband or wife. However, to experience true love in family life, you need to get to know each other, make friends, and then fall in love. Many falsely consider love as the first candy-bouquet period. After all, as soon as the romance leaves, rose-colored glasses fall, the partners face the first difficulties, the first tests of relationships. And someone thinks - love is gone .

Devotion and patience are the main qualities of love. If you decide that “love is over” in your relationship, be sure that it has not started yet.

These seven stages of a relationship that show you why true love and true relationships come over time:

1. Candy-bouquet stage

Candy and bouquet period lasts about 18 months. Since men and women, when they fall in love with each other, hormones are produced in the body, which help to see the world in bright colors. During this period, everything seems surprising to them in their partner. They feel as if intoxicated.

One should not make fateful decisions during this period, because the action of this intoxication will sooner or later cease, everything will fall into place.

2. Stage of glut

During this period, you begin to look soberly at your relationship and your partner, the sea of ??feelings subsides, you gradually get used to each other. The consequence of this is a change in your behavior - you begin to behave more relaxed and natural.

3. The stage of disgust

The stage of disgust cannot be avoided in any long-term relationship. Quarrels and identifying each other’s flaws are characteristic of this stage. It seems to you that the easiest way to avoid all this is separation or divorce. After parting, you will soon re-enter the candy-bouquet stage with another person, and begin to go through the stages again, until you reach this point and proceed to the next one.

4. Stage of patience

At this stage, partners gain wisdom. The quarrels are no longer so dramatic, because both know that the quarrel ends, and the relationship must continue. If both do their best to develop patience, over the years wisdom comes to them. This is the law.

[caption id="attachment_972" align="aligncenter" width="334"] true love[/caption]

5. Stage of duty or respect

This is the first stage of true love, because before this love was not yet. Partners begin to understand their responsibilities, thinking not about what the other partner owes him, but about what he can do and give to his beloved.

6. Stage of friendship

During this period, the partners become very close to each other. They trust each other as their closest friends. The stage of friendship opens the way to true love.

7. The stage of true love

For real love they go for a very long time, passing together through difficult life stages and situations. True love is not something that unexpectedly falls to you from heaven, as many believe. For real, adult love, a person matures, abandoning selfishness and prejudice.

]]>

Myths about love and romance

Most of us can independently choose their own conceptual definition of love and romance; to rate them as one of the primitive human emotions. Love, which, in turn, develops into romance or adventure, entails various myths, many of which originate in ancient times, and which, despite their repeated repetitions, have little in common.

• One of the most common myths about love and romance revolves around the association with marriage; many are convinced that marriage will consolidate the state of romantic love. But the concepts of marriage and romance should not touch in people's minds. While romance or love is an expression of feelings; Marriage is a form of social contract that does not necessarily strengthen your feelings and romantic relationships.


• True love forces you to accept your partner as he really is. But to say that love or romance can not be completely blind. In case your partner has unpleasant character traits, such flaws will not be colored with rainbow colors in terms of romance and relationships.


• Traditionally it is believed that short-term or long-term separation is simply necessary from the point of view of strengthening romantic feelings. But in fact, a long absence can be counterproductive for romance, remember the popular saying - "Out of sight, out of mind."


• Another common myth is the unity of romance and physical passion. If one of the partners goes to a romantic relationship with a single purpose - the satisfaction of their physical needs; then it will be a failure. Romance can lead to physical passion, but relationships built on satisfying one’s lust are doomed.


• Similarly, it is a mistake to associate romance with material happiness. You do not need to be rich to be romantic; in the same way, it is not necessary to present an exotically expensive gift in order to prove one's penchant for romantic deeds. Simple gestures of gratitude and help can better reflect the depth of your romantic feelings.

[caption id="attachment_957" align="aligncenter" width="334"] Myths about love and romance[/caption]

• According to the idea that romance requires so much effort and time; a person will think several times before diving into the maelstrom of romantic relationships. But this idea is false. Romance should be a spontaneous feeling that unfolds naturally in connection with the situation and time.


• In addition, the idea of ??time management regarding romance remains unclaimed. Although it should develop naturally over time, romantic feelings can weaken if it requires additional time.


• Thanks to the romantic tricks sung in films and sugary books, people estimate the manifestation of romance quite incorrectly, considering that romance is best expressed in colors and couplets praising the charms of the beloved. This may also include the frequent repetition of catchy phrases such as “I love you” and so on. But the opposite is true, true romance is manifested in the expression of caring and thoughtful love.


• The expression of romance through gifts, flowers, cards and candy has become a cliché and a banality. Therefore, try to have a higher manifestation of romantic feelings to be innovative, in spite of all the cliches and given patterns.

It is imperative that a person remains true to his nature and perception when it comes to issues of love and romance. Two identical personalities do not exist, so you should believe your instinct and the dictates of the heart, act spontaneously. After all, what could be better!

]]>

5 myths about happiness

We all like to play a game called "Catch happiness." This game consists of riddles. We always guess what exactly can make us happy. Who unravels the riddles correctly, he knows that he is able to give him pleasure, and he is happy.

The state of happiness is very difficult to explain and describe, although, perhaps, you will agree that happiness is akin to a sense of joy. The more our joy, the closer we are to feeling happiness. And sometimes we can rejoice because of unexpected reasons: having seen the first snow outside the window, having communicated with the pleasant interlocutor or having heard your favorite song on the radio. But, in addition, that happiness has unexpected causes, there are several myths about it. Who they are invented is unknown, but they exist, and therefore mislead us.

Myth number 1. To be happy, you need to be in a good mood

How often do we hear that showing our weakness and having life's troubles is bad. Everyone should think that everything is fine with us. Yes, it's hard not to agree that a strong person should be able to hide his emotions. But you need to restrain your feelings in moderation.

Any psychologist will confirm that you need to get rid of negative emotions. If something disturbs you, do not keep it to yourself. Find the time and place to be sincere and without masks. If you want, cry. Only getting rid of the negative, you can once again launch into your soul bright and joyful feelings.

Myth number 2. Popularity is happiness

Of course, it's hardly possible to be happy alone. But to have "one hundred friends" is also not a way to happiness. The illusion of rich communication does not make a person happier. Much more valuable for us is the relationship with close friends and good acquaintances. Just one meeting with a best friend can replace daily communication with a large number of people, to which we, by and large, are indifferent.

Myth # 3. Control of life leads to happiness

Do you want to live on schedule, stick to the schedule and try to do everything deliberately and planned? Controlling your life is good, but if you get too involved, negative consequences can arise. As a rule, happiness comes to us unexpectedly and sometimes makes unplanned actions - it's useful. Who knows, a spontaneous trip to a store or even an occasional trip to another city can dramatically change your whole life. Of course, for the better.

[caption id="attachment_919" align="aligncenter" width="300"] myths about happiness[/caption]

Myth # 4: Striving for one goal

Of course, striving for the goal and achieving it make us happy. But moving only in one direction is not good. The monotonous movement very soon can get bored and deprive of joy. Therefore, striving for the main goal, on the way to it is very important to achieve other goals, less global, but also significant.

Myth number 5. Love me for who I am

The best and most ideal we are only for our parents. For the rest of the people, one must try to eradicate their bad character traits and habits. You should try to love yourself, so that you and others around you love you, but you need to constantly improve. Turn your shortcomings into virtues, but in no case do not think that you do not need to work on yourself.

]]>

Why do men fear beautiful women?

Today we will find out the reasons why men are afraid of beautiful women.

Stupid statement at first glance. After all, how can you be afraid of beautiful women? But most men fear them for some reason. They admire women's beauty, but at the same time they do nothing.

1. What are they really afraid of?


2. Fear of refusal.


3. This is not my level.


4. And suddenly I can not satisfy her.


5. I will not pull it.


6. Already busy.


7. Low self-esteem.

1. Fear of failure.

Are you afraid to get acquainted with the beautiful woman because she will precisely ignore you? And this will lower your self-esteem, strike at vanity? It happens that you even rejoice when you see the guy next to her. There is immediately ready an excuse "why it should not be approached now." The problem is supposedly solved.

But is this how real men do?

Are not you ashamed to admit to someone that you, a man, are afraid of a small fragile girl? Does not the fact that you can not do anything at the sight of a beauty, except how to fantasize, does not strike your ego?

Act, otherwise you will never get rid of fear. Fear is like fire, and it lives inside of each of us. If he is not given a way out, he will go out by himself or burn you from the inside. Curb your fear - turn it into a driving force.

2. "It's not my level or it's already taken" - thoughts of insecure guys.

Do you consider yourself unworthy of her, ugly, not well-groomed? And that's why you set yourself up for failure in advance? Do you expect a loss? Like, she's perfect, what can I give to such a girl?

This is how the majority thinks, but you are not the majority. Such few.

Enough to look at the beauties as strangers, considering them inaccessible. Take life in your hands and manage it. Believe me, it's just your excuses in your head. And you do not know how girls really think and what they want. For the present, you do not know.

[caption id="attachment_896" align="aligncenter" width="250"] men fear beautiful women[/caption]

Cultivate yourself and develop from day to day. Increase your level in everything and at any opportunity.

3. "And suddenly I can not satisfy her" - fears about the bed.

Do you think she tried everything already? Do you think she had millions of lovers before you?

Even if it is, you should not care. Be the best, be who you do not forget. And with whom they forget about all the others. Honor your skills and practice. Improve yourself and, I beg you, never, never ask a stupid man's question "How do you like me?".

4. "I will not pull it" - the widespread belief of my students.

This is a very powerful, fatty cockroach. But even it does not justify your inaction. Remember, the pants are not working, and you're not a coward! You have to worry more about what emotions you give her, and how you will be together well.

Yes, the men have a stereotype: a beautiful woman is spoiled. It's hard to argue with that. Think, well, what kind of normal girl will give up good cosmetics, expensive clothes and the opportunity to regularly visit elite beauty salons and famous resorts?

Remember that the beauty can inspire you to whole states, and she will be able to provide you with a reliable rear.

5. Already busy.

Most likely, you look at the beautiful girl and you think she's already taken. Or you want to think this way to justify your failure.

Most men, in general, consider beautiful girls inaccessible. Few people even think of the idea that he can have sex with her.

That is, most men admire beautiful girls, and sleep with affordable, that is, ugly. Why can such a "beauty" be without a boyfriend? Maybe because everyone thinks like you.

6. Low self-esteem.

Almost all men have low self-esteem regarding women. Regardless of the status and amount of money on the account.

They are confident in themselves in their professions and hobbies. But this confidence has nothing to do with women. Otherwise, they would have long been bathing in the attention of beautiful, well-groomed girls. But this is not so.

Very often, successful businessmen monitor their wives, attach security to them, everywhere they try to control them. They listen to calls, read messages, track their location, specifically provoke and check for loyalty.

All this is the result of a low self-esteem. He is afraid that she will leave him for the next, not realizing that by such methods he himself accelerates this process. The problem is solved at the root, but few people know!

Conclusions:

A man is more comfortable and easier to have a simple girl next to him. There are fewer queries, easier to match, almost no competition. And the vast majority of beauties are lonely and wonder why there are so few worthy men.

]]>

Why do women say four times more than men say

The world is dual. The night is replaced by the day, the tides are ebbs, black seems more expressive than white, and the male power is most clearly manifested against the background of the female opposite being, the primordial feminine weakness. But are women weak? How often do their weaknesses become that "dark horse" on which the woman subconsciously and often win-win stakes?

Women by nature are very perceptive, they are difficult to circle. But this does not apply to compliments: a woman perceives and speaks with the help of both hemispheres of the brain, whereas a man - mostly with the help of the left, responsible for logical thinking, and takes the criticism critically.

Ladies not only hear better than men (more than twice as much!), But they feel even more vividly what sounded: they feel the timbre of the voice and the feelings with which the words were uttered. Therefore, for women, gentle expressions, emotions, associated with pleasant impressions, music are so important.

Note that in the opera house most of the visitors are women. It is easier for them to perceive classical music, and the desire for beauty is expressed more strongly. For men, visual sensations are more meaningful, but if a strong sex tends to please the weak, then a joint visit to the ballet performance is exactly what you need!

Coming back to the compliments, let's say that a woman listens to them without criticism. After all, we know that we indifferently accept well-deserved compliments and listen with gratitude to those who are not deserved. It is impossible to make a mistake.

A woman has a highly developed sense of smell. Is it worth it to blame her for being addicted to good spirits? Perception of smells by a woman is 100 times stronger in so-called critical days! It's like a sixth sense, and it's it that plays a decisive role in choosing a partner. This, with whom he wants to have children.

The smell of a partner is a marker of cellular compatibility, it gives the woman information at a subconscious level - the embryo in the uterus can be implanted, whether a woman can bear a child. And you can not make a mistake here: the price of error is too high. So a woman intuitively chooses a worthy one, and her nose in this is an excellent helper.

And talk? Already in preschool-age girls speak 4 times more than boys. Adult women spend an average of 20 minutes on phone calls, while men - 6 minutes, and then in order to convey the necessary information. A woman needs to share her feelings, experiences - after all, the female brain has evolved to adapt to the main purpose: educate children and collaborate with others.
[caption id="attachment_870" align="aligncenter" width="266"] women say four times more than men[/caption]

No wonder among the fair sex many good, thoughtful leaders who are sympathetic to their subordinates. But the man is biologically programmed for competition. Not surprisingly, the representatives of the stronger sex are terse.

Men and women are too different, but, apparently, that's why they can not do without each other. Yin and Yang are halves of the whole, which mutually complement each other. Male and female beginnings do not compete, although society often tries to convince us of another. Male and female begin to unite and give birth to harmony.

]]>

How social networks affect family relationships. 8 things to know

Psychologist-expert talks about the positive and negative impact of social networks on family relations

Today it is difficult to find a person who does not have a page in the social network. Facebook, VKontakte, Twitter, Instagram - we cannot live a day without having to look into the social network and not place a record or photo there. We share impressions from the watched films and performances, we tell about the exhibitions that we visited, we publish pictures of food from restaurants and selfies with friends.

Such a large amount of Internet activity affects not only our relations with friends but also relationships within the family. What you need to know for those who do not want social networks to have a bad influence on the relationship with the husband or children, says psychologist Anastasia Mostovskaya.

The positive impact of social networks on family relations

Social networks unite family members at a distance

Now I can not remember how difficult it was for parents whose children lived in other cities or countries before the advent of Skype. It was expensive to talk on the phone, and writing letters for a long time. Now everything is much simpler. At any convenient time, you can write to the child in the chat or dial Skype. And not only to hear the voice, but also to see the native face. And it will be quick and free.

Families have a common leisure time

Facebook has an excellent service - "create an event". Through the tape, the mother can see an interesting family event and go to him with the children. This is very convenient because usually on the page of the event you can see photos, invite friends or even get discounts.

In social networks, families have common themes for conversations

An amusing picture, a funny meme, a video or an article on the evil of the day spread in social networks at the speed of light, collecting husky from around the world. In the morning I saw, quickly noted relatives, and in the evening everyone is already quoted or discussed at dinner.

The negative impact of social networks on family relations

People stopped communicating live

Parents and children have a quick way of communication. With children in their teens, it can be difficult to communicate live. And through social networks, which they are so carried away, it is easier to do this. However, there is a downside to the coin.

According to psychological research, about 30% of people use smartphones, tablets and other gadgets to communicate with their loved ones through social networks instead of talking to them personally. One in five confessed that he would learn about what members of his family are doing from their status in social networks, rather than asking them directly, even if they are sitting in the next room.

Children develop psychological problems

[caption id="attachment_854" align="aligncenter" width="354"] social networks affect family[/caption]

Studies show that children between the ages of 8 and 18 spend in social networks about 7 hours a day, or 50 hours a week. This means that at this time they do not study, do not walk with their peers and do not spend time with their relatives. Because of this way of life they gain weight and become distracted.

Social networks cause a lack of personal space within the family.

When it comes to family relations, social networks should be used with caution. Imagine that there was a conflict between the wife and her husband. The wife writes about this on her page in social networks or in public. And the husband worries that personal information has got into the network and became the property of many, not always familiar people. This leads to additional conflicts.

Social networks can spoil the reputation of the family

Keep track of the content of your page in the social network. Because if your husband thinks that your posts are stupid or spoil the family's reputation, then this can cause a quarrel. Do not forget about jealousy. It happens that requests for friendship send us former boyfriends, and this is unlikely to please your husband.

Stealth is another alarm signal

If you feel that you want to collapse the window every time your husband enters the room, you should ask yourself why it happens. Marriage is built on trust. Therefore, psychologists recommend spouses who are very active in social networks, share passwords from their pages with each other.

]]>

How do social networks affect family relationships?

Not so long ago, German scientists conducted a study to find out how social networks affect relationships between close people. It turned out that it was extremely negative. Why?

First, many are extremely zealous when the other half begins to correspond with the opposite sex. It would seem that this is just a correspondence, but no, it can grow into something more. Secondly, some people are very negative about the photos of their friends - out of feelings of envy. In addition, they feel worthless. Third, many turned into the most natural maniacs - all they need is a large number of likes.

[caption id="attachment_850" align="aligncenter" width="300"] social networks affect family[/caption]
Now let's move on to real stories. So, virtual correspondence has often led to divorce. Moreover, there are cases when people killed each other after socializing in social networks! However, in most cases everything ends only in quarrels. For example, there is a young family. The husband indicates that he is not married and is free at the moment. Of course, this affects his wife's feelings and a scandal begins ... By the way, according to the latest research, about 15% of all divorces are due to virtual love.

Do not forget that over time people become dependent on such resources. If he is not allowed to communicate in a virtual environment, he begins to get nervous, panic and even be afraid. Much worse is that the more sociable in real life from this person does not become. On the contrary, it is locked in itself.

In general, despite all the benefits of social networks, they have many disadvantages. And everyone can be convinced of this.

]]>

Family or career: What to choose?

Often, modern women have to choose between a career or a family.

As life shows, we either selflessly give ourselves to the vocation and strive to fly high up the career ladder, or we raise children and create the comfort of the home. Or or?

Happiness can not be bought in a store and you do not smear bread. We are looking for it every day. And for each of us, it's different. Someone "forges the iron while it's hot" in the professional field. And it is more important for someone to raise healthy children, to raise them well, to strengthen family positions. And whatever we do, the question inevitably arises: are we right? Do we miss something important to ourselves? And can there be a good, strong family if my mother spends whole days at work?

One pretty successful woman once decided to leave her post in order to plunge into the family life. She explained her act like this:

"Rarely does anyone in old age regret having not spent enough time in the service, but very often people are angry with themselves for not seeing how their children grew up."

A mother woman, engaged exclusively in career, hides her head under the wing, tries to ignore the obvious and prefers to remain in a happy ignorance of most of the issues not related to work. You can understand it at the same time. After all, the family, as you know, earns money from those who do it better. And then every person has the right to know himself, find his talents and develop what can do better than others. And if you are an excellent leader, know how to make money, then these are your needs, aspirations and vital tasks. Unfortunately, there is not enough for everything.

However, having won a place in the men's territory, in business, try not to leave behind the whole arsenal of their feminine and maternal qualities. After all, playing men's games on a man's field, women involuntarily accept the rules of the game unusual for them. They build up muscles in a direct and figurative sense, they gain experience in gross verbal battles, prove that they have not less strengths and abilities than men. The main thing is to remember in time that you are not only the boss, but the wife, mother, and you have your own methods that allow you to harmoniously exist in the family and at work.

[caption id="attachment_846" align="aligncenter" width="355"] Family or career[/caption]

Tips for a businesswoman:

• Stay healthy. Women have long proven that men drive cars as well as men, play sports, run the country, play political games and occupy the most responsible posts. At the same time, they, like the stronger sex, earned themselves additional health problems: insomnia, stomach cramps, heart pains, chronic fatigue ... Remember: who works hard - must rest well.


• Think about the birth of a child in time. Only a woman can bear a child, this is a very difficult and important job that no one in your family will do for you.


• Pay attention to the details. Women tend to notice a small, focus on small things and intermediate stages. Men think in perspective, they see the problem in general, and in small things, especially household ones, they are weak. Therefore, it is difficult to demand from the husband-householder an impeccable order in everything. Resign yourself to this.


• Career is not fast. Do not expect that you will have time to take everything from life at once: the path to heights is thorny and takes time. As there are tides in nature, so in the life of every person or collective there are ups and downs. After all, behind a big career take-off, like a white stripe, there is always a fall - a black band. And in order not to be seen as a loser in their own eyes and eyes of others, it remains only to learn how not to let off steam on their relatives and rise up after a failure.


• Be wise in a relationship. The ability to deal with competitors rashly is often carried over to family relationships. She is pushing her own line, he is his own. And they both do not want to listen to each other. But it's more important not to show who is stronger, but to come to a decision that will suit everyone. A wise woman acts more flexibly: she agrees to the demands of the domestic, and demonstratively shows that she has failed, and then, when she noticed that everyone relaxed, carefully delivers her wishes, correcting and supporting the actions of her household with her approval.


• Take care of men, for they are vulnerable. Men, for example, are very much experiencing a loss of social status or any other abrupt change in life. Women quickly adapt to everything new. Even the fact that all over the world men live on average 10 years less than women, is it not the reason to take care of the very "stone wall" behind which we all so desire to hide?


• Understand and accept the fact that the family for your husband is not in the first place. But not at the last! In business battles, he is exhausted so much that only in the home front can he fully recover. If at home, only complaints and dissatisfied faces await him, he will find another harbor. Somewhere he needs to rest!

Try not to perceive the idea of a career and home as a Hamlet issue. It will be better if you separate one from the other in time and space.

Love your work and take care of your family!

]]>

Family or career: what modern ladies choose

Family values in modern ladies go into the background, giving way to success at work. And the conflict - family or career - takes the leading place in a hundred psychological problems of women.

Our mothers somehow did not ask such questions, what is more, important family or career? Most of them aspired to jump out quickly to get married, so as not to stay with the old girls. Quickly give birth to a child. Find a job with more or less decent earnings. And all - life was a success. Today? Today, for a twenty-year-old girl in a dress with an orange blossom and a veil, they look only sympathetically: "Fast, however, it is fast." And most of her contemporaries do not really want to go to the registry office: at least, she tries to delay this moment of the visit. Considering that the career is better than the family: after all, in addition to being confident in tomorrow, it gives financial independence for everyone.

History is the first - no career, no family

"At the university, I was bright - why should I hide it here, I saw a lot of guys behind me, and I turned their heads to them," Tatyana says with a note of pride in her voice. "Then a diploma, distribution, new work, attempt to stay in a team where I all the time trying to survive. He became the boss, I was in charge of two hundred people. It seems that relations with men were developing from time to time successfully. And then there was an accident. I was so upset that I had to lie about half a year on hospitals. At work, I was fired, and I realized that I have no career, no family ... "

The second story - career and family in the life of a woman

"My husband and I divorced after three years of living together, leaving one with the child, wept and wept, I plunged into my work: I could say I loved it, even on the weekends I found an excuse to run to the editorial office," the editor of one of the well-known Valentine's newspapers - My career growth was just off scale, everyone was jealous of me, and I, swimming in the rays of success, just forgot about everything-even that I have a daughter. -No, she was always with me, but she had time for her I did not have any left. "Her grandmother took her to the zoo, a colleague from And so it was until a certain moment until I suddenly realized that I would lose my family, my child, and it was time to stop, and I needed a lot of energy to spend less time and work more with my daughter.

History the third - the family is more important than career

"I never thought about what is more important for a modern woman - a family or a career." I just got married at the second year of the institute. "When my classmates passed exams, she lay in the hospital." So I had to take a academy for a year. I will continue to study next year, but it was very difficult, "Alexandra describes," my son's teeth climb and he screams, but I have to get ready for the exams. "But he did learn, the kid went to the kindergarten, and I - to work in one small but promising firm. I was appointed deputy director in a year and promised to be transferred to the branch as a director, and then I find out that I'm pregnant! For the second time, I did not do the abortion, but I cried so much, realizing that I was losing everything that I had achieved ... And now I am in the second year already on the decree, I have a clever little girl growing up, but I do not know anymore, how do I go to work, leaving her. In my head all the time spinning: "Family is more important than career ..."

[caption id="attachment_843" align="aligncenter" width="300"] Family or career[/caption]

How to solve a dilemma: a family or career for a woman is more important

Three stories from life. Three women who have learned success ask for help from a psychologist, realizing that they themselves cannot cope. What unites them? Of course, the desire to achieve harmony in life, as well as an attempt to quench the psychological need for love, understanding, and acceptance of oneself.

But how to do that?

First of all, the woman facing the dilemma of "career or family" should understand the internal causes of the conflict, why there was a skew in one direction or another, why it was necessary to ask "What is more important than a career or a family?". And here, of course, a specialist will help you: in one article, do not give universal advice.

Choose love and harmony!

Just open a huge secret, these concepts can not be countered, but combined! That is, one can not choose career growth or family pleasures, but live a life filled with sonorous laughter, husband's love, successes and respect at work. Yes, yes, family and career can get along together! The truth for this is to observe several rules, the most important of which is: "Understand yourself. And if you really want to become successful in all areas, be it! "

Rules for the coexistence of a career and a family in the life of a woman:

• After the end of the working day, close the diary, forget about all the working moments and go to the family! The work will wait. Even very important.


• No reworking in the evenings and overtime: all money will not work, and a complex of guilt for relatives will be easy.


• House chores are delegated to all members of the family, from the husband to the children. Kids can well help mom load laundry in a washing machine, wipe the dust, wash vegetables for salad. And her husband is able to make purchases of products in stores.


• Weekend is dedicated only to the family: we relax together, and not from each other. Do not forget about the joint breakfasts, lunches and dinners. Joint eating is especially close, as are any other actions that you produce together.

And supplementing the list of rules for the coexistence of a career and a family in a woman's life, I suggest not forgetting the words of the great actress Merlin Monroe: "Career is a wonderful thing. But she can not keep anyone warm on a cold night. " Love yourself and do not try to be an ideal mom, wife, boss. It's enough to just be a WANTED WOMAN!

]]>

The ideal girl: family or career?

In modern girls and women are often struggling two beginnings:

1. The needs of a romantic girl who dreams of a prince, a beautiful wedding, a big and friendly family.


2. Experience young lady realist, who understands that hoping for a successful and at the same time a happy marriage is not worth it , but better to learn, get a good profession, start working and earning money.

Men, who had resisted for so long, calmed down and thought about it, happily agreed to give women freedom and the opportunity to do what they wanted. Most women wanted independence, they were tired of being "Adam's rib", "service personnel" and a "second-class" person, whose opinion is not considered.

Battle of the sexes

Now women have the right to vote, they can build houses, factories, steamships, manage production, engage in politics and not at all to do household chores . It is possible not to fulfill a "conjugal duty", not to obey the will of a man, but, as usual, for which they fought, they ran into it. Together with the generation of independent and successful women, a generation of boys, not adapted to anything, has grown up. To start a family with them seems dangerous and unpromising.

We choose a career. In the event that you really need to implement in the work, professional growth, and you boil unrealized ideas.

We choose a family. If your emancipation is just a way to prove to a man that you are doing better than he is. With this approach, you will compete even with the strongest opponent, although it will be more appropriate to use his abilities for the benefit of the family.

Desires and Opportunities

In childhood, men watched their mothers, like workhorses, work hard at work, at home and in the garden. All are in time, including rid of the hangover syndrome of the spouse. What was left for the man for whom all the work is performed by a woman? For the simple reason that he does not believe that he is capable of anything at all in this life. Future macho watched all these depressing pictures and absorbed, adopted the model of paternal behavior. This behavior is a "vegetable", a "pet", which, well, still, if it goes to some kind of work, where it performs mechanical actions, from a call to a call.

[caption id="attachment_840" align="aligncenter" width="360"] family or career[/caption]

Workers of labor, "stakhanovka", young ladies, who do not care, the founders of business-class hope for themselves and live for themselves.

We choose a career. If it is obvious that your elect does not suit you by his personal qualities and needs. It is strange to build relationships with those who cause only pity and resentment.

We choose a family. If a man is quite capable of performing his role, but does not do it, because you yourself take it upon yourself.

Changing roles

But, whatever one may say, nature is arranged so that men and women can not without each other. They still gravitate towards each other, they are looking for a couple and they do everything for this. Men instinctively want to be first and foremost, and women - to be cared for, cared for, treated with awe and admired beauty. The problem is that the real situation does not allow these roles to be realized. Infantile men can not only take care of a woman, but even herself. And women, engaged in men's affairs, have so far ceased to be feminine and "joined" in men's work, that they lost attractiveness. Therefore now many women remain men not noticed.

We choose a career. If your work does not require you to abandon your female nature, it does not change your essence and does not break.

We choose a family. If a career has to be done to please stereotypes, that does not bring any joy.

The external component alone is not enough. Therefore, what women eventually achieved is a catastrophe for the classical model of the institution of the family. Many, instead of starting a family and having a baby, prefer to become single mothers, choosing conception in vitro. The child is, and the men who cause trouble, nervous disorders and financial losses - no. Perhaps this is one of the stages of evolution, and we need to adapt to trends and any such other, but still I want to hope that today's picture of the world is a lesson for society.

Each has its own role and purpose, but at the same time everyone should be able to choose - the way of the family and home or life for the sake of one's own interests and ambitions. And in one, and in other case there are pluses and minuses. But probably not for nothing since time immemorial travelers - single travelers and inventors. Most choose life in the family - that society, where only close and dear people, love, respect and tolerance reign.

]]>

How to start a new life after a divorce for a man and a woman?

Divorce is always stressful. Even if it happened by mutual consent, there will be a void and a sense of loss in the soul. But not everything is so sad, and in fact, life after the divorce is just beginning. It will take a little time (each has its own recovery period), and the person will feel not divorced, but free.

If the aggressive behavior or incurable alcoholism of the husband led to divorce, the woman, having lived alone, will feel relief from the now-defunct problem. For a man, bachelor days will come again, when there is no need to report to anyone and return home for dinner.

Life after a divorce

When there is a point in relations and on paper, and life begins with a new leaf, the divorced person remains alone with himself and with his feelings. He feels broken, lonely and tired. These emotions eventually pass, and the person realizes that we need to move on.

Men and women behave differently after the official dissolution of relations and experience this period in their own way. If the wife has left, the man some time takes a great interest in alcohol, becomes indistinct in intimal relations. He decides not to marry again because of distrust of the opposite sex. The woman after the divorce begins to feel sorry for herself, feels a sense of guilt and inferiority. She at first seizes with sweet desserts grief, and then sits on a diet.

To avoid such consequences, a divorced person should not:

• blame yourself;


• regret and let other people feel sorry for themselves;


• "close" on thoughts about past relationships.

It is important to believe that everything is still ahead, and this is not the last love.

We must realize that as it was before, there will be no more. You need to stop clinging to the past and living the present. The survived trauma and the days following it have already brought changes not only to the existence, but also to the identity of the former spouses. And although the person has not yet released the memories and all thoughts are connected with the last marriage, one must force oneself to look to the future. To his negative experience, connected with the unfinished family life, should be treated as a certain stage.

After the divorce, there are often two questions: what to do and what will be the other life. You can not let yourself despair: there can be a new relationship ahead.

Women and divorce

Divorce with her husband-Tyrant can be called salvation. Having spent several years under the constant control of the spouse, and, finally, having parted with him forever, a woman feels relief and a sense of freedom. In a new life there is no place for sadness. It remains only a pity that I did not part with him before.

[caption id="attachment_830" align="aligncenter" width="297"] how-to-start-life-after-divorce[/caption]

After a divorce with an alcoholic who drank all the money or lifted his hand to his wife, the new official status would seem to be a salvation and a period of tranquility. Former problems, fears and anxieties will go away with her ex-husband. He had long since become a tyrant or a big problem. In such cases, the divorce gives a sense of peace, and the dimension.

Even in 40 and 50 years, you can start a new life. Children have grown up, they can already have their babies, and the divorced woman has more time for herself. Unless she's an active grandmother. But in this case, communication with his grandchildren will distract from gloomy thoughts and will make him feel needed. And walking with children in the park, you can meet a lonely interesting man and the same caring grandfather.

Recommendations for a divorced woman

A woman, from which her husband left to another, to cope with feelings and stress will help her friend. Psychologists give several recommendations:

• Allow yourself to be sad. Let people see a strong woman, but it is possible to cry out grievances at home, this will significantly ease the pain. The main thing is not to tighten with crying and not start feeling sorry for yourself beyond measure.


• Understand your feelings. During this period, many feel emptiness, loss and despair. Conversations with friends and relatives will help to understand your condition and look to the future.


• Busy yourself. Try to pay more attention to your hobbies. Free time is now enough to love yourself again.


• Experiment with the appearance. To change a hairdresser, to recolor hair in other color or completely to change style. A new "I" for another life is the motto of a confident woman after the divorce.


• Do not stay long alone. Do not be sad, sitting on the couch. Ahead are waiting for new acquaintances and interesting meetings. Perhaps my friends always do not get to spend time with a divorced woman. But there are many places where meeting strangers is capable of moving into friendship or a new love.


• Start to dream again.

If earlier the maintenance of the family budget lay on the spouse now search of work and care of the financial well-being will not leave time for experiences. Fatigue and a new circle of communication will distract from cheerless thoughts and send them to another channel.

If there is time, a small trip will speed up the prolongation of wounds and will allow you to look at the world from the other side. Especially if the trip will be accompanied by a small adrenaline rush:

• descent by boat along a mountain river;


• a rise to the mountain;


• jump from the bridge on the rope;


• flight on a paraglider.

In addition, there are many brave and free men on such trips. They will gladly get acquainted with a woman who already has a relationship experience and looks optimistically towards the future.

Divorced man

After a divorce, not the best times come for him. If women share experiences with their friends, then men keep their feelings within themselves. Unable to express sore, they hide the pain deep inside, and it reflects on the psyche and health. Negative thoughts and fear of perfect mistakes can lead to illness or an attempt to part with life.

Women need 1-2 years of quiet life to adapt to new circumstances. Men, trying to fill the void, are able to immediately marry, just not to stay alone. Or drown out the pain is not new hobbies, but alcohol and non-serious sexual relations. They lose interest in work.

Men, once again become single, are divided into three types:

• The militant and willing to harm. He does everything to ruin the life of his ex-wife. Often a man warns her about this during the divorce process. It is difficult for him to accept that his wife will start a new life without him. In this situation, everyone suffers the ex-wife, the husband and their children.


• Indifferent and detached. She perceives the divorce calmly, as this is his initiative and he has a new love. He feels guilty and does not go into conflict. If there are common children, try to remain an ex-wife friend.


• Recovered. During the divorce, he suddenly realizes that he loves his wife. Trying to get it back, but it rarely works out. For the reunion, the desire of two people is necessary.

The new life after the divorce depends on the social status of the spouses. Usually, a man loses more than just a wife. But if he earns well, then his influential friends and the favor of women are not a problem for him. Even if the wife decided to divorce him, he has many chances for an interesting life and meet with a new love.

]]>

Life after divorce: how to stop suffering and start from scratch

When a family happens this misfortune, which is another word and does not name, suffers at least two people. Under any circumstances: even if people are terribly tired of each other, if they leave the unloved to their loved ones if the past seems terrible, and the life after the divorce is beautiful, it is still a trauma. And for both, not to mention the children, if they exist.

How to decide to cross the Rubicon and start life after a divorce

The reasons for divorce are different: treason, destructive dependence, misunderstanding each other. But the sensations and experiences, the mistakes made and the conclusions drawn from them are often the same in completely different situations. Or very similar to each other.

When the marriage begins to crack at the seams, everything goes out of control and turns into some sort of chaos. Nowadays the reason for this is the incurable drunkenness of her husband. And if you follow the laws of modern psychology, it is really better for spouses to part. But it is often very difficult to do this, especially if people have lived together for years and even decades. Also, I do not want to hurt children, and simply - to share a common apartment, a dog, life. And love, which over time has turned into an attachment, a habit, still just does not let go. After all, it unites, if not a feeling, an enormous part of the common past that turns the parting into pain.

For a very long time, they do not leave conflicting impulses in peace, which simply prevent us from making the right decision. Memories, a sense of guilt pulling back into the past, I want to leave everything as always. It seems that with all the pain inflicted on each other, the presence of a once dear person already makes life cozy and pleasant, as before, when there was a family.

[caption id="attachment_827" align="aligncenter" width="282"] Life after divorce[/caption]

But on the other hand I want to get rid of painful shackles, in which nothing can be fixed, change for the better, which has been checked and tested so many times in a variety of ways. All. Hands drop from complete hopelessness. And somewhere in the depths of the soul lies the hope that freedom will bring new impressions, new acquaintances, a full-fledged, truly new life will begin after the divorce. The pragmatic part of the personality requires the termination of obsolete relationships with a person who does not have the sense to waste energy and time. From the breadwinner and the hunter, he turned into a continuous, unsolvable problem. The husband ceased to be a defender for his wife, and began to pose a real threat to her.

But again - the heart makes us constantly cry, feeling sorry for her husband, who will simply be lost without a spouse who has become for him more likely a mother. Although this speaks more about co-dependence, forcing a woman to sacrifice her own interests in the name of saving her fallen husband. It is endlessly torn by contradictory feelings and emotions, tormenting doubts that do not allow bringing the matter to a divorce and make a final decision.

Life after the divorce is just beginning!

But, as the experience of thousands of women who survived this unpleasant process shows, there is absolutely nothing horrible in it. On the contrary: problems that make life unbearable disappear at the same time. The woman's life after the divorce acquires new colors - lightness, joy and positive. And if you abstract away from everyday issues, which in any case have to be solved after the divorce process, to start living on the full, then everything will necessarily happen and all the good things will certainly happen.

Divorce can be a real relief, give a sense of peace, dimensionality and freedom. A woman does not need to measure each of her actions with the opinion of this partner to coordinate with each his step, to limit himself in something. She can safely go where she wants, meet with friends, without fear of bouts of jealousy, go to a concert, a hike, a cafe or a restaurant. Beach, spending the night with a friend, getting to know new people, communicating with them - all this without the close supervision of the flawed spouse.

A former husband after the divorce will no longer cling to every detail, indicate what to do at what point, demand to themselves vigilant attention. Life will begin to bring pleasure, joy, full of love to the whole world. In the chest will settle with nothing incomparable sense of happiness, from which it will simply burst from the inside.

Do not cling to the past

The husband with his unsolvable problems will definitely take a back seat. At times, a woman will still remember it sadly, because he is part of her life, albeit past. She will be tormented from time to time with regrets about the help that was not provided to her native person, even there will be doubts as to whether the decision to divorce was taken correctly. But the way out of these painful relationships is often the right decision.

In due time the husband terribly did not want a divorce: threatened, constantly asked to give last chance, blackmailed. Obtained chances, he did not appreciate, continuing to go lower and lower. Of course, it was possible to go to infinity indefinitely and continue to live in hell of drunken scandals and poverty. But the decision to divorce made it possible to escape from this hopeless turbidity. And after that, the very culprit of all troubles is most often quickly retired, disappearing from the life of the ex-wife without any regrets on his part. After all, when it comes to divorce because of drunkenness, the man is no longer capable of high feelings, overwhelmed by low-lying passions. It is clear that a joint life after a divorce with such a person is impossible.

Although, it happens differently. It happens that a man who in his first marriage has degraded so much that he was already outside the bounds of decency, leaving his wife, suddenly also begins to live in a new way. Simply suddenly there is a woman with whom he feels like a man, gives birth to his children and together they safely live to a very old age. Believe me, this is often not the fault of the first wife. Their lines of life simply did not coincide. And then the person experienced stress, overestimated his life priorities, and met a close person in spirit, he did his best to start life anew. Therefore, this only confirms that a divorce may well be for the benefit of both - both husband and wife.

In general, a woman can quite enjoy life after a divorce, without worrying about once-blessed. Exceptions happen, and very pleasant. Therefore, there is no need to fear the future, and it is also foolish to try to keep by force what will still fall apart. And you do not need to postpone the divorce, if it is inevitable. There are a lot of advisers who feel sorry for the descended man, considering it necessary to protect the crumbling marriage. But it is better for them not to get involved in a relationship with someone else's family, not knowing about all those circumstances that bring the divorce closer.

And the spouses do not need to be too sacrificial, especially to the detriment of themselves. Unjustifiably sacrificing their own interests, years of life, health, they basically can not bring an illusory goal - family well-being. It is important to remember that life after a divorce from her husband will not end for anyone. In the ripe parting there is nothing to worry about. It is just necessary to make this process as correct and painless as possible. When one thing ends, another begins. Always like this. An erroneous, unfortunate, painful marriage is not a verdict of a court, it can always be canceled in order to heal a free, unknown life before. And after all, she should be so - happy and joyful. Do not let conventions keep you in chains!

]]>

5 simple steps to Conflict Resolution

It does not matter whether you are an active person or restrained, in a conflict, we all feel discomfort. First of all, because it seems to us that the cause of disagreement is in us. We are doing something wrong, and we are not quite right people. If you remember that there is no right and wrong behavior, but there are just different points of view, you can find a common language much faster.

American psychotherapist Marty Laniproi analyzed the advantages and disadvantages of people of different temperaments to find ways to resolve conflicts between them. She shared her experience in her book The Advantages of Introverts (Mann, Ivanov and Ferber Publishing House). Here are a few simple steps to better understand each other when there are contradictions:

Step one. "Let everyone say what, in his opinion, is the essence of the conflict."

Even if these are completely opposing points of view, this step gives an opportunity to express oneself, to hear another, and, perhaps, to realize that the opinion of the other is not directed against itself, but exists in itself.

Step two. Tell me about the reasons why you took your position.

If the husband goes fishing and meets friends, and you want him to stay at home, explain why this is for you. Maybe you will feel lonely without him or jealous and afraid to lose the love of your spouse. In turn, he can tell you what gives him communication in his circle, what he finds in his hobby and hobby and why it is important for him to be there. This step leads away from the conflict even further and gives it the form of an exchange of impressions, makes communication deeper and fuller.

Step three. "Clarify the impasse".

Try to figure out where and why there was a contradiction. If the need of the other person is not related to you personally (and as a rule, it happens), it will be easier for you to reach an agreement. For example, the frank admission that you miss your spouse instead of direct accusations that he does not respect your opinion will set him up for a different attitude towards you. You, in turn, reduce the exactingness when you learn about the real causes of his aspirations.

[caption id="attachment_812" align="aligncenter" width="300"] Conflict Resolution[/caption]

Step Four: "Put yourself in the shoes of another."

This step should be done as sincerely as possible, without leaving behind the soul of one's interests, without substituting openness with a formal agreement "Yes, I understand, but ...". Let him imagine how sad you are at home with embroidery and how you are tormented by fantasies about other people's ladies leading him away from you. This experience will help him to replace the image of a vicious bitch with a closer to reality - a loving woman, longing for the company of her beloved.

Step five. "Talk to each other and find a compromise."

The author shares his surprise with the readers - in practice, everyone who passes the first four steps to the fifth is ready to easily agree with each other. In the book Marty describes the conflict of the spouses, one of whom wanted to stay at home, and the other - to go out into the light. In the process of finding out the relationship, all together singled out one important thing that could not be seen in the heat of passion: "They were both reminded that they want to spend time together, and this reduced their anxiety."

At the beginning of a quarrel, it seems to you that the husband avoids you (but the very fact of disagreement on his part means that your opinion is important for him so that you understand him correctly). He has a feeling that he is controlled (although in fact his society needs him and appreciate it). In addition, when entering into conflict, people are more often than not afraid to be defeated in it, which makes the fight more and more furious, and all methods (insults, accusations, threats) are used. When a person receives a positive experience in resolving the difficulty in communication, unnecessary aggression becomes unnecessary, because it is clearly visible that everything can be solved peacefully.

]]>

Why do women change? | 17 main reasons for female adultery

Why do women change? Reason number 1 is just a chance.

The main factor in women's betrayal of all kinds of research on the issue of adultery is the very possibility of committing treason. A woman, as a rule, commits such a betrayal in 40% of cases when she is given the opportunity herself.
It turns out that even a married woman is easy to tempt. It all depends on the case.

Why do women change? Reason number 2 - at work.

Women who work have a chance to commit treason more than those sitting at home. The office is a great opportunity for this because there are a lot of men who seem attractive. Of course, this does not mean that all working women constantly change their husbands, but it's easier for them to commit treason without causing any suspicion.
The history of "service novels" lasts a long time. As a rule, such a connection is conceived most often by married women. If you look at the statistics, then a third of these women get themselves novels at work. Probably, the workplace seems very sexy.

Why do women change? Reason number 3 - infidelity of parents in marriage.

Psychologists, psychiatrists and physiologists believe that people often repeat their parents' behavior patterns. So if a child has witnessed the betrayal of a father or mother, then he can find such an action quite adequate.

Why do women change? Reason number 4 - a woman - the initiator of sex in marriage.

According to sociologists, a woman who tends to be the initiator of sex in the family is much more likely to change. Most of this applies to women over forty. Such women have a different view of the sexual initiative, unlike women who are used to waiting for the first step from a man.

Why do women change? Reason number 5 - the justification of infidelity.

A woman who is unhappy in a marriage often justifies this failure by her infidelity. Among the excuses may be such moments as the upcoming separation from her husband, the woman's infatuation with someone else, dissatisfaction in sex, etc.
Such circumstances often give the woman an excuse for treason, because she believes that she has quite "legitimate" excuses.

Why do women change? Reason number 6 - an example of treason.

One of the most common reasons is the example given to a woman by her girlfriend. This can even be the usual gossip or talk about someone's husband. The more a woman has various friendly ties, the more acquaintances she has, the more examples of adultery, including marital ones, appear.

Why do women change? Reason number 7 - in the big city - more opportunities.

It is very convenient to make novels in big cities, because few people know each other, and it's much easier to hide the secret connection with your lover here than in any other small town where everyone always knows everything.
[caption id="attachment_808" align="aligncenter" width="300"] Why do women change[/caption]

Why do women change? Reason number 8 - the woman is the head of the family.

Good chances for betrayal are women, who have a leading role in relations in the family. Such women are usually very initiative, unlike those who are used to obeying all their husbands. And they, of course, are much more confident in themselves and in everything else.

Why do women change? Reason number 9 - the husband loves his wife more.

A less dependent man, who loves less, is more inclined to risk marriage. However, a very loving man, who is much more dependent on his partner, values marriage much more, and even too much to look for something on the side. The same applies to women who are married because of money and who do not like their husbands.

Why do women change? Reason number 10 - young change more.

According to sociologists, the greatest number of female changes happens at the age of 26-30 years. Young women have more such connections than older women. And recent studies in general have shown that in our time, wives of a young age are changed much more often than husbands.

In the period between 30 and 40 years, women who are married are more likely to commit treason.

Perhaps this is due to the fact that the marriage of a woman who has extramarital affairs in her youth is quite often disintegrating. In addition, young wives who cheat on their husbands are usually divorced far more often than women of mature age. The most common age of adultery is 35 years.

Why do women change? Reason number 11 - a rich sexual experience of a woman before marriage.

Studies of sexologists have shown that premarital sexual experience has a direct relationship with adultery. The more this experience, the more likely that the woman will change. Thus, referring to today's data, we can conclude that the number of women's adultery in marriage has increased, because the number of women who had a pre-marital sexual experience in the 90 years increased to 90%.

Why do women change? Reason number 12 - education.

Studies have shown that women who outnumber their husbands in education commit treason more often and often have many sexual partners. The connection between education and adultery is more often traced in a rather mature age.
It is noticed that women with low education are more often attracted by highly educated men. In addition, the risk of female adultery increases when the difference in the education of the wife and husband sharply outweighs the wife.

Why do women change? Reason # 13 is a critical period or a period of failure.

Sometimes a woman may feel that something is missing something new, that everything is palled and fed up, and you want to embellish this monotonous life. At such times a woman is able to have a lover.
If the husband can not catch such a moment and will not be able to give proper attention to his wife, then the probability of treason is extremely high, because in the search for diversity, a woman can make a novel on the side.

Why do women change? Reason number 14 - frequent separation.

The possibility of treason is also influenced by such factors as frequent husband's travel to business trips, irregular working hours or the work of one of the spouses in different shifts.
If the husband and wife spend a lot of time separately from each other, their lives are separate, then the risk of entering into extramarital affairs is increased by 20%.

Why do women change? Reason number 15 - sexual dissatisfaction.

A high probability of changes occurs when the frequency of sexual intercourse in the family falls. This factor has become important for a woman since the era of freedom of sexuality and the realization that any woman is worthy of the fulfillment of her desires in the sexual sphere.

Why do women change? Reason number 16 - Dissatisfaction with marriage.

Women who are dissatisfied with their marriage, are more likely than others to be treacherous. Although this factor can be called quite generalizing, but still it has a place to be. Most often, non-marital relations are entered into by women whose marriage is older than twelve. Women of adulthood usually compensate for unsuccessful marriage with loving connections, unlike younger women who prefer betrayal to divorce.

Why do women change? Reason number 17 - Long-time friendship with a man.

Often, the friendship of a woman with a man can grow into a love affair, because friends have a strong emotional attachment. According to statistics, 82% of the women interviewed confirmed that they were able to find lovers in men who initially were reliable and faithful friends for them.
Men! Even if your family is not doing well, believe me, this is a temporary phenomenon. If in your relationship with your wife you can find even all these reasons for female adultery, you should not make hasty conclusions. After all, most likely your wife loves you and is devoted to you with all your heart.]]>

Real signs of Male Love

Many women do not know how to find out if a man loves them. And if experienced and through many past young ladies already know at least the main signs of true male love, then young girls and inexperienced girls in love have no idea how to recognize the love of a man, how to distinguish a real feeling from a beautiful lie, they have not yet learned to separate the grains from the chaff. In this collection of women's secrets and wise women's tricks about men's love, you'll find out when a man loves a woman seriously, and when - for fun.

Of course, one should not treat these secrets of women's wisdom and small female tricks too seriously: in order to come to the conclusion that a man loves you, it is enough that in his words and actions only the prevailing majority of the signs of male love cited here are enough. Well, if most of the signs of male behavior do not match, then most likely (but again - not a fact, but very, very likely), a man does not really love you, but only plays in love cat and mouse, and in this The cat is he, and you are given the role of a gray and suffering mouse.

Real signs of male love. If a man loves, then ...

If a man loves a woman, then he never humiliates her.

If a man loves, then the girl does not need to win his love, respect, do not absolutely prove anything - all the evidence already lives in his heart and they can not be burned out with marinated metal.

If a man experiences true love to a woman, and does not suffer himself and does not torment his beloved neurotic illusions, he will never, under any pretext, attack him: he does not beat, so he loves. And this applies not only to physical, but also moral, emotional, psychological strikes. A loving man does not injure his lady with a dagger in the heart - he leaves it for her and his enemies.

A loving man always wants a child from a beloved woman.

If a man loves for real, and does not adore himself in his love for a woman, he will take off his last, sell his favorite car, will plow three works from dawn to dusk, but will make his beloved happy and the possibility of not needing anything.

If a man loves a woman, then he goes for many sacrifices for her - from refusing to be friends with certain persons until concurrence, along with the dearest and beloved wife, spend the whole weekend in a tiring race through shopping centers.

If a real love lives in the man's heart, then the man forgives his elect any shortcomings regardless of the degree of their number, significance and originality.

If a man loves a woman, he calls her to marry, he wants her to become his official, legitimate wife, to be together in sorrow and in joy.

If a man really loves a woman, he wants to spend all his free time with her.

When a man experiences love for a certain woman, he is not afraid to humiliate himself, to look ridiculous in the eyes of his beloved and surrounding people, he is ready to do anything to get her reciprocated.

If a man loves, he is the first to call, but does not harass your loved one without going out with her for whole days.

A loving man does not drive before his beloved Ponte - next to her he is more humble than the most humble sheep.

[caption id="attachment_789" align="aligncenter" width="300"] signs of Male Love[/caption]

It's hard to say why a particular man loves a particular woman, but usually this love is based on his love for his mother, if it's true love, or on the inaccessibility of a certain girl for him, if this is not real love, but only a neurotic dependence called not inherent to her a feeling of love.

If a man loves, he is ready to wait for the first intimate affinity with his beloved for at least a year - if only she was close, was in his life, did not reject his courtship.

When a man loves, he often makes a woman a small or large gift and gift - depending on the level of his material income and social status.

If a guy loves, he will spend his only 100 rubles, but perverts and takes the girl to a cafe, wishing to surprise her, please and please.

When love lives in the man's heart, it does not stare about the strange women in search of new love adventures - he already has everything and no one needs him, nobody's tits of the tenth size, and no one whose large-sized volumes a la Jennifer Popes.

If a man loves, for the sake of his beloved, he will turn mountains, make a career, open a business, become famous for the whole world.

When a man loves, he speaks gentle words to a woman, even if he does not know how. Or, at least, he tries to do it, learns the art of beautiful words and compliments, expresses his feelings, if not words, gestures, deeds, gifts, help and support.

A woman who really loves a man can ALWAYS rely on - without exceptions and reservations.

In any embarrassing or doubtful situation, a truly loving man will ALWAYS take the side of a loved one, even if she is not right.

If the man's love for the woman is real, there is no calculation and conditions on the principle "If you do not do this or that, I will stop loving you", and any other principles in true love also completely lack the calculation and conditions, except that they are aimed at making your beloved woman even happier.

The real love of a man does not go down to blackmail and bribes.

If a successful man loves a woman, then he does not buy her mutual love, but only tries to make her beloved happy.

If a married man really, rather than in words, fell in love with a woman, he will do everything to be together with her side not only in fact, but also officially, that is, he will go to an unpleasant divorce and a scandalous division of property, If only not to lower the beloved to the status of a disenfranchised mistress.

If a man loves his woman, he will not humiliate her, insult her, abuse her in the presence of other people.

When a man loves, he does not care, his bitch is his favorite or not.

If a man loves, rather than suffers from a passionate neurotic but temporary, mental-heartfelt disorder-insanity, he will never change a beloved woman under any pretext: if necessary, he will fight off the fans, refuse 1000 and 1 adorable little calf, but will remain faithful for the beloved in all his virgin chastity.

If a man loves, his wife's friends are not interested in him, even if they flirt with him.

A sure sign: if a man loves, expect from him touching SMS-ok.

True sign: if a man loves, then he will take on a part of his duties in the house, including - he will sometimes wash dishes at the request of his beloved or even without it, he will sometimes clean himself up in the house, take out the garbage, make purchases.

True sign: if a man experiences genuine love for a woman, he will never be embarrassed by her, even if she is grinding sheer crap in public.

If a man loves a woman, he in one way or another, but will earn money, work, seek the opportunity to provide a loved one with everything necessary and will never be calm and shamelessly sitting on her neck and providing.

When a man loves, he does not hesitate to appear with his woman in public, openly go with her to the movies, restaurants, to formal events, take her to her home, introduce her to her mother, her friends ... He does not hesitate and does not look stupid prepositions.

If a man loves, he loves not with his eyes, but with his heart and with all his heart, so the appearance of the beloved is in fact not important to him - in his heart she will always be the most beautiful and sweet, beautiful lady in the world. Even in spite of the fact that now she is running around the house in a cucumber mask and a greasy dressing gown, she is still his favorite woman.

If a man loves, he will never tell her in jest that "You are one - there was, there is and no longer needed."

If a man loves a woman, then he loves her alone. Here, without options, in fact, so that swingers and advocates of free love would not broadcast.

If you do not know how to understand that a man loves you or not, then during a fire or other danger, pay attention to the fact that first he will rush to save you or his junk. If you, then he really loves you, if junk, then you are only a stage in his life. If there are no extreme situations in your life, then just ask him if he would save you first if your house caught fire.

When a real love is between a man and a woman, a man on a drum, what a zodiac sign is his favorite and how well it is compatible with him.

If a man loves not in words but in the heart and soul, he does not care what his favorite walks, that it is a real Louis Vuitton or a fake. But if his beloved woman does not care that she is dressed, he will do everything possible to buy her the clothes she wants. And not once, but now, if, of course, there is not a very risky financial opportunity to do so.

When a man experiences love for a woman, he is ready to overcome any obstacles, just to be with her.

If a man loves, then during intimate lovemaking he will first of all think about the pleasure and comfort of his beloved woman, and not just bake about his pleasures.

For a loving man, the opinion of a beloved woman is always important and always has weight, he always considers it with her and takes her thoughts into consideration, even if she does not say so directly - his actions, not words, should testify to this.

If a man loves, he does not part with his beloved for a long time (for two, three or more months, years), but always finds the opportunity either to adapt himself to her conditions of life, or create conditions for herself next to her.

When a man loves a woman, he eats from her hands that food that he does not even like, he praises her cooking, even if she is far from perfect.

When love is in the soul of a man, he tries not to miss even the slightest opportunity to make a pleasant beloved: he makes her a massage, bathes her in the bathtub, helps her around the house, listens to stories about work, buys sweets and prepares surprises that are original but pleasant to her.

If a man loves a woman, he meets her from work and even escorts to work, if there is even the slightest opportunity to do so.

When a man loves, he first rises at night to feed or change a child, if he cries.

If a man loves, he will never be late for a date and will not force his beloved to wait, because the one who is late, demonstrates its importance, self-affirms at the expense of the waiting. And in love there is no calculation.

If a man loves, he will come on a date in advance.

A loving man does not see anything shameful in conceding to the beloved in the dispute, to recognize her as the supremacy in the family and relationships - after all, the main prize - herself - is already in his hands, but nothing more is needed.

A loving man does not criticize the appearance of his beloved lady.

In public transport, a young man in love will always give way to the lady of his heart.

If a man loves, he will never offer unworthy things to a woman.

If a man loves a woman, he will not disappear for long from her life without valid, valid reasons. And if it disappears, then without any problems and strains will explain why it was not. A loving guy in general will warn the lover in advance, if he has business and he will have to go away on business, he will not torment her in uncertain hopelessness and ignorance.

When a man loves, he cares for a loved one, even when she is ill in life or during illness, for him illness and failure are not a reason for parting, but one more opportunity to prove his love.

When a man loves a woman for real, he does not show his feelings in the presence of other people, but pours out the fullness of his love alone with his beloved. After all, the expression of feelings in public is, nothing more than self-admiration in public - only psychological reinforcement of one's own importance. A loving heart does not need to prove anything to anyone, on the contrary, it will prefer to hide its treasure from prying eyes.

When a man loves a woman, he loves her children, even if they are not his own.

In general, when love lives in a man's heart, a woman always feels it - she does not doubt, does not torment herself with remorse, she is not manipulated, she just knows she is loved. When love passes, the woman also feels it is the first - because then the man ceases to be so cute and caring in so many familiar little things that a spoiled real man's love lady just can not help feeling cold in his attitude towards her.

And if a man never loved and did not even intend to, or only loved in words, this is also always felt - a woman always knows when she is not loved, she is just ashamed to admit it herself - to admit that it means so little to this person who for it means everything. When a man does not like, he manipulates, mocks, remains cold to the hottest requests and sufferings of a supposedly beloved woman, he demands proofs, which means - victims, her love, while not sacrificing anything at all.

I think I will not be mistaken if I say that true love is ALWAYS the happiness of two people, this is a mutual, joint flight of two souls to nirvana.

A neurotic love affair, called in the life of the bright, but stupid in its essence word "passion" (because to experience passion - it means suffering, the root of one), it is always unequal, it is always unhappy for at least one of its participants, it is always painful and wears a suffering character, she always and constantly pulls the blanket only on one side - the side of the one who says that she loves, but in reality it's cold in the soul, like a frog.

Be happy because happiness is love, and love is happiness. And nothing else. All the rest, any other options that generate pain and doubt - from the evil one.

And most importantly: when a man loves you, you just know it and do not ask a question about it. But when a guy does not like and manipulates a girl, then her sufferings start, throwing, searching and sobbing.

If a man loves, the woman always knows for sure!

]]>

Can a friend replace a psychologist?

The young woman is very excited: "Yesterday, he again caused a terrible scandal, I can not do this anymore ... What can I do?" The interlocutor stands a pause, and then confidently says: "So it will be until you finally analyze your relationship!" Many of us tend to behave as if we know better than others what our friends need and why they do it in one way or another. It seems that it's not at all difficult - to listen and say something in response, we have seen how psychotherapists do it in films and TV shows. Confidence gives and the feeling that we are saving loved ones from depression, irreparable error or just stupidity. But in fact, we only play a psychologist, which means we are deceiving: after all, without a special education, it is impossible to become a psychotherapist or psychoanalyst.

View from the outside

"Friendly help, that is, sympathy and participation, reduces our suffering, pain and anxiety," says the therapist Alexander Orlov. "But after a while a new problem arises, and we again ask for help from friends. In psychotherapy, everything is different. " "We strive for the client to have a sense of process, movement, gradual change," explains the therapist Ekaterina Mikhailova. "And we are building a complex system of interaction, so that those who came to us for help, sooner or later could abandon it." The task of psychotherapists is to help us take a different look at our own lives. And the meaning of friendly participation is to console, sympathize and support at the moment. Realizing at the same time the limits of their capabilities, so that (not) interference does not inflict additional injury on the friend.

[caption id="attachment_786" align="aligncenter" width="311"] friend replace a psychologist[/caption]

Learn empathy

We comfort our friends during difficult periods of their lives. And we hope that they will also be attentive to us: they will let us speak without interrupting, they will listen, they will understand. "Friendship is impossible without emotional involvement in each other," continues Alexander Orlov. - A psychotherapist needs a distance in the relationship with the client for successful work. It allows for an open dialogue, through which a person feels that they accept him as he is, and you can talk about everything without fear of condemnation or disapproval. " The work of psychologists requires great effort and skill, and it is paid for. Friendship is disinterested.

Psychotherapists learn to feel another person, master the technique of empathic hearing *. "Of course, those who chose this profession from empathy to people, and not from the desire to manipulate and manage them, it is easier to learn the ability to communicate without condemning, not evaluating others, not making them diagnoses, - explains Alexander Orlov. "But it's also unusual for them to listen to another (even if it talks about something quite insignificant) with the attention and diligence they are capable of. Therefore, the first experiments of psychological counseling are under the supervision of a supervisor, an experienced psychotherapist. "

What can we do if we are an involuntary witness of how the girlfriend is more and more depressed? "Being a true friend in this case means insisting that she turn to professionals for help," Alexander Orlov is convinced.

Dangerous dependence

Two twenty-year-old girls are sitting in a cafe. One of them, with difficulty holding back tears, talks about an unsuccessful novel. Why does she always have bad luck - maybe something is wrong with her? "In fact, you would like to be alone, it suits you, and you do everything yourself to be abandoned. You're too infantile to take responsibility for your relationship, "the girl's impassive tone answers her. Such judgments can be called "naive psychoanalysis" (or unprofessional counseling): they have many personal, peremptory assessments and advice that satisfy the desire for excellence of those who pronounce them.

"The position of a particularly trusted person, to whom people turn to solve their personal or family problems, increases self-esteem," explains psychotherapist Ekaterina Mikhailova. - And a person quickly gets used to being "the one who knows best" and starts (often unconsciously) to play the savior. Thus, he self-affirms and forgets his personal problems. " So, next to the 52-year-old Olga, there are always many girlfriends who need support. She tells them little about what bothers and worries her, but can endlessly discuss the details of the life stories of her "wards". "Such people cultivate someone else's vulnerability to not think about their own," comments Ekaterina Mikhailova. - Olga is afraid to lose control over what is happening in her life and in some ways depends on her friends: while there is someone who is unwell.

Native listeners

And yet there are among us those who are particularly disposed to frankness. Naturally, without any benefit to yourself. They do not have the slightest desire to be therapists for their friends. About such people say - "yes he is a born psychologist!". "These are those who know how to listen, which is especially valuable, because there are many more people around us who are actively interfering in our lives," says Alexander Orlov. - This is the same "friendly vest", in which you can comfortably and safely cry. " By accurately choosing words or simply listening attentively, they help us to better understand ourselves. We seem to see in them the images of an approving father or a comforting mother. And such people do often become good psychotherapists if they decide to get a special education.

Is it possible to distinguish a born psychologist from someone who, even unconsciously, builds around him a circle of "dependent"? "The first often without jealousy refer to professionals," said Ekaterina Mikhailova. - A person who claims a special role in his environment, perceives professional help painfully. Any attempt by friends to solve their problems without it causes a desire to immediately return the "apostate" under his wing. The existence of other opportunities seems a threat to his special situation. Try to say that you coped with the problem yourself or that you are going to go for psychological training. A born psychologist will be happy about this, and the "guru" will do everything possible to depreciate what is being done without his knowledge and participation. "

Different relationships

"A true friend is one with whom I feel better. This is the one with whom I can laugh at myself and with whom I can be silent, "- says 32-year-old Sergei. "When I'm too addicted, my best friend brings me back to earth," Nadezhda, 29, admits. "It helps me not to get lost in novels, because I'm so inclined to give out wishful thinking." She says: "Let's see what you really have, open your eyes at last" - and the ability to think clearly comes back to me. "

Psychologists themselves never engage in psychotherapy with friends. "We are obliged to avoid double relations, that is, where relations of kinship, power, friendship or love are added to psychotherapeutic," explains Alexander Orlov. - They interfere with building therapeutic relations, free from assessments. Psychotherapy in this case can not be effective. " Therefore, even for a therapist, one must remain only a friend. The best thing he can do for him is to comfort, support and, if necessary, give the phone to his professional colleague. However paradoxical this conclusion may seem, but the better our friends stay away from playing the psychologist, the stronger becomes the unifying understanding and mutual acceptance. And the more healing is our friendship!

]]>