Family or career: What to choose?

Often, modern women have to choose between a career or a family.

As life shows, we either selflessly give ourselves to the vocation and strive to fly high up the career ladder, or we raise children and create the comfort of the home. Or or?

Happiness can not be bought in a store and you do not smear bread. We are looking for it every day. And for each of us, it's different. Someone "forges the iron while it's hot" in the professional field. And it is more important for someone to raise healthy children, to raise them well, to strengthen family positions. And whatever we do, the question inevitably arises: are we right? Do we miss something important to ourselves? And can there be a good, strong family if my mother spends whole days at work?

One pretty successful woman once decided to leave her post in order to plunge into the family life. She explained her act like this:

"Rarely does anyone in old age regret having not spent enough time in the service, but very often people are angry with themselves for not seeing how their children grew up."

A mother woman, engaged exclusively in career, hides her head under the wing, tries to ignore the obvious and prefers to remain in a happy ignorance of most of the issues not related to work. You can understand it at the same time. After all, the family, as you know, earns money from those who do it better. And then every person has the right to know himself, find his talents and develop what can do better than others. And if you are an excellent leader, know how to make money, then these are your needs, aspirations and vital tasks. Unfortunately, there is not enough for everything.

However, having won a place in the men's territory, in business, try not to leave behind the whole arsenal of their feminine and maternal qualities. After all, playing men's games on a man's field, women involuntarily accept the rules of the game unusual for them. They build up muscles in a direct and figurative sense, they gain experience in gross verbal battles, prove that they have not less strengths and abilities than men. The main thing is to remember in time that you are not only the boss, but the wife, mother, and you have your own methods that allow you to harmoniously exist in the family and at work.

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Tips for a businesswoman:

• Stay healthy. Women have long proven that men drive cars as well as men, play sports, run the country, play political games and occupy the most responsible posts. At the same time, they, like the stronger sex, earned themselves additional health problems: insomnia, stomach cramps, heart pains, chronic fatigue ... Remember: who works hard - must rest well.


• Think about the birth of a child in time. Only a woman can bear a child, this is a very difficult and important job that no one in your family will do for you.


• Pay attention to the details. Women tend to notice a small, focus on small things and intermediate stages. Men think in perspective, they see the problem in general, and in small things, especially household ones, they are weak. Therefore, it is difficult to demand from the husband-householder an impeccable order in everything. Resign yourself to this.


• Career is not fast. Do not expect that you will have time to take everything from life at once: the path to heights is thorny and takes time. As there are tides in nature, so in the life of every person or collective there are ups and downs. After all, behind a big career take-off, like a white stripe, there is always a fall - a black band. And in order not to be seen as a loser in their own eyes and eyes of others, it remains only to learn how not to let off steam on their relatives and rise up after a failure.


• Be wise in a relationship. The ability to deal with competitors rashly is often carried over to family relationships. She is pushing her own line, he is his own. And they both do not want to listen to each other. But it's more important not to show who is stronger, but to come to a decision that will suit everyone. A wise woman acts more flexibly: she agrees to the demands of the domestic, and demonstratively shows that she has failed, and then, when she noticed that everyone relaxed, carefully delivers her wishes, correcting and supporting the actions of her household with her approval.


• Take care of men, for they are vulnerable. Men, for example, are very much experiencing a loss of social status or any other abrupt change in life. Women quickly adapt to everything new. Even the fact that all over the world men live on average 10 years less than women, is it not the reason to take care of the very "stone wall" behind which we all so desire to hide?


• Understand and accept the fact that the family for your husband is not in the first place. But not at the last! In business battles, he is exhausted so much that only in the home front can he fully recover. If at home, only complaints and dissatisfied faces await him, he will find another harbor. Somewhere he needs to rest!

Try not to perceive the idea of a career and home as a Hamlet issue. It will be better if you separate one from the other in time and space.

Love your work and take care of your family!

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Family or career: what modern ladies choose

Family values in modern ladies go into the background, giving way to success at work. And the conflict - family or career - takes the leading place in a hundred psychological problems of women.

Our mothers somehow did not ask such questions, what is more, important family or career? Most of them aspired to jump out quickly to get married, so as not to stay with the old girls. Quickly give birth to a child. Find a job with more or less decent earnings. And all - life was a success. Today? Today, for a twenty-year-old girl in a dress with an orange blossom and a veil, they look only sympathetically: "Fast, however, it is fast." And most of her contemporaries do not really want to go to the registry office: at least, she tries to delay this moment of the visit. Considering that the career is better than the family: after all, in addition to being confident in tomorrow, it gives financial independence for everyone.

History is the first - no career, no family

"At the university, I was bright - why should I hide it here, I saw a lot of guys behind me, and I turned their heads to them," Tatyana says with a note of pride in her voice. "Then a diploma, distribution, new work, attempt to stay in a team where I all the time trying to survive. He became the boss, I was in charge of two hundred people. It seems that relations with men were developing from time to time successfully. And then there was an accident. I was so upset that I had to lie about half a year on hospitals. At work, I was fired, and I realized that I have no career, no family ... "

The second story - career and family in the life of a woman

"My husband and I divorced after three years of living together, leaving one with the child, wept and wept, I plunged into my work: I could say I loved it, even on the weekends I found an excuse to run to the editorial office," the editor of one of the well-known Valentine's newspapers - My career growth was just off scale, everyone was jealous of me, and I, swimming in the rays of success, just forgot about everything-even that I have a daughter. -No, she was always with me, but she had time for her I did not have any left. "Her grandmother took her to the zoo, a colleague from And so it was until a certain moment until I suddenly realized that I would lose my family, my child, and it was time to stop, and I needed a lot of energy to spend less time and work more with my daughter.

History the third - the family is more important than career

"I never thought about what is more important for a modern woman - a family or a career." I just got married at the second year of the institute. "When my classmates passed exams, she lay in the hospital." So I had to take a academy for a year. I will continue to study next year, but it was very difficult, "Alexandra describes," my son's teeth climb and he screams, but I have to get ready for the exams. "But he did learn, the kid went to the kindergarten, and I - to work in one small but promising firm. I was appointed deputy director in a year and promised to be transferred to the branch as a director, and then I find out that I'm pregnant! For the second time, I did not do the abortion, but I cried so much, realizing that I was losing everything that I had achieved ... And now I am in the second year already on the decree, I have a clever little girl growing up, but I do not know anymore, how do I go to work, leaving her. In my head all the time spinning: "Family is more important than career ..."

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How to solve a dilemma: a family or career for a woman is more important

Three stories from life. Three women who have learned success ask for help from a psychologist, realizing that they themselves cannot cope. What unites them? Of course, the desire to achieve harmony in life, as well as an attempt to quench the psychological need for love, understanding, and acceptance of oneself.

But how to do that?

First of all, the woman facing the dilemma of "career or family" should understand the internal causes of the conflict, why there was a skew in one direction or another, why it was necessary to ask "What is more important than a career or a family?". And here, of course, a specialist will help you: in one article, do not give universal advice.

Choose love and harmony!

Just open a huge secret, these concepts can not be countered, but combined! That is, one can not choose career growth or family pleasures, but live a life filled with sonorous laughter, husband's love, successes and respect at work. Yes, yes, family and career can get along together! The truth for this is to observe several rules, the most important of which is: "Understand yourself. And if you really want to become successful in all areas, be it! "

Rules for the coexistence of a career and a family in the life of a woman:

• After the end of the working day, close the diary, forget about all the working moments and go to the family! The work will wait. Even very important.


• No reworking in the evenings and overtime: all money will not work, and a complex of guilt for relatives will be easy.


• House chores are delegated to all members of the family, from the husband to the children. Kids can well help mom load laundry in a washing machine, wipe the dust, wash vegetables for salad. And her husband is able to make purchases of products in stores.


• Weekend is dedicated only to the family: we relax together, and not from each other. Do not forget about the joint breakfasts, lunches and dinners. Joint eating is especially close, as are any other actions that you produce together.

And supplementing the list of rules for the coexistence of a career and a family in a woman's life, I suggest not forgetting the words of the great actress Merlin Monroe: "Career is a wonderful thing. But she can not keep anyone warm on a cold night. " Love yourself and do not try to be an ideal mom, wife, boss. It's enough to just be a WANTED WOMAN!

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The ideal girl: family or career?

In modern girls and women are often struggling two beginnings:

1. The needs of a romantic girl who dreams of a prince, a beautiful wedding, a big and friendly family.


2. Experience young lady realist, who understands that hoping for a successful and at the same time a happy marriage is not worth it , but better to learn, get a good profession, start working and earning money.

Men, who had resisted for so long, calmed down and thought about it, happily agreed to give women freedom and the opportunity to do what they wanted. Most women wanted independence, they were tired of being "Adam's rib", "service personnel" and a "second-class" person, whose opinion is not considered.

Battle of the sexes

Now women have the right to vote, they can build houses, factories, steamships, manage production, engage in politics and not at all to do household chores . It is possible not to fulfill a "conjugal duty", not to obey the will of a man, but, as usual, for which they fought, they ran into it. Together with the generation of independent and successful women, a generation of boys, not adapted to anything, has grown up. To start a family with them seems dangerous and unpromising.

We choose a career. In the event that you really need to implement in the work, professional growth, and you boil unrealized ideas.

We choose a family. If your emancipation is just a way to prove to a man that you are doing better than he is. With this approach, you will compete even with the strongest opponent, although it will be more appropriate to use his abilities for the benefit of the family.

Desires and Opportunities

In childhood, men watched their mothers, like workhorses, work hard at work, at home and in the garden. All are in time, including rid of the hangover syndrome of the spouse. What was left for the man for whom all the work is performed by a woman? For the simple reason that he does not believe that he is capable of anything at all in this life. Future macho watched all these depressing pictures and absorbed, adopted the model of paternal behavior. This behavior is a "vegetable", a "pet", which, well, still, if it goes to some kind of work, where it performs mechanical actions, from a call to a call.

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Workers of labor, "stakhanovka", young ladies, who do not care, the founders of business-class hope for themselves and live for themselves.

We choose a career. If it is obvious that your elect does not suit you by his personal qualities and needs. It is strange to build relationships with those who cause only pity and resentment.

We choose a family. If a man is quite capable of performing his role, but does not do it, because you yourself take it upon yourself.

Changing roles

But, whatever one may say, nature is arranged so that men and women can not without each other. They still gravitate towards each other, they are looking for a couple and they do everything for this. Men instinctively want to be first and foremost, and women - to be cared for, cared for, treated with awe and admired beauty. The problem is that the real situation does not allow these roles to be realized. Infantile men can not only take care of a woman, but even herself. And women, engaged in men's affairs, have so far ceased to be feminine and "joined" in men's work, that they lost attractiveness. Therefore now many women remain men not noticed.

We choose a career. If your work does not require you to abandon your female nature, it does not change your essence and does not break.

We choose a family. If a career has to be done to please stereotypes, that does not bring any joy.

The external component alone is not enough. Therefore, what women eventually achieved is a catastrophe for the classical model of the institution of the family. Many, instead of starting a family and having a baby, prefer to become single mothers, choosing conception in vitro. The child is, and the men who cause trouble, nervous disorders and financial losses - no. Perhaps this is one of the stages of evolution, and we need to adapt to trends and any such other, but still I want to hope that today's picture of the world is a lesson for society.

Each has its own role and purpose, but at the same time everyone should be able to choose - the way of the family and home or life for the sake of one's own interests and ambitions. And in one, and in other case there are pluses and minuses. But probably not for nothing since time immemorial travelers - single travelers and inventors. Most choose life in the family - that society, where only close and dear people, love, respect and tolerance reign.

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