If the aggressive behavior or incurable alcoholism of the husband led to divorce, the woman, having lived alone, will feel relief from the now-defunct problem. For a man, bachelor days will come again, when there is no need to report to anyone and return home for dinner.
Life after a divorce
When there is a point in relations and on paper, and life begins with a new leaf, the divorced person remains alone with himself and with his feelings. He feels broken, lonely and tired. These emotions eventually pass, and the person realizes that we need to move on.
Men and women behave differently after the official dissolution of relations and experience this period in their own way. If the wife has left, the man some time takes a great interest in alcohol, becomes indistinct in intimal relations. He decides not to marry again because of distrust of the opposite sex. The woman after the divorce begins to feel sorry for herself, feels a sense of guilt and inferiority. She at first seizes with sweet desserts grief, and then sits on a diet.
To avoid such consequences, a divorced person should not:
- blame yourself;
- regret and let other people feel sorry for themselves;
- "close" on thoughts about past relationships.
It is important to believe that everything is still ahead, and this is not the last love.
We must realize that as it was before, there will be no more. You need to stop clinging to the past and living the present. The survived trauma and the days following it have already brought changes not only to the existence, but also to the identity of the former spouses. And although the person has not yet released the memories and all thoughts are connected with the last marriage, one must force oneself to look to the future. To his negative experience, connected with the unfinished family life, should be treated as a certain stage.
After the divorce, there are often two questions: what to do and what will be the other life. You can not let yourself despair: there can be a new relationship ahead.
Women and divorce
Divorce with her husband-Tyrant can be called salvation. Having spent several years under the constant control of the spouse, and, finally, having parted with him forever, a woman feels relief and a sense of freedom. In a new life there is no place for sadness. It remains only a pity that I did not part with him before.
[caption id="attachment_830" align="aligncenter" width="297"]
how-to-start-life-after-divorce[/caption]After a divorce with an alcoholic who drank all the money or lifted his hand to his wife, the new official status would seem to be a salvation and a period of tranquility. Former problems, fears and anxieties will go away with her ex-husband. He had long since become a tyrant or a big problem. In such cases, the divorce gives a sense of peace, and the dimension.
Even in 40 and 50 years, you can start a new life. Children have grown up, they can already have their babies, and the divorced woman has more time for herself. Unless she's an active grandmother. But in this case, communication with his grandchildren will distract from gloomy thoughts and will make him feel needed. And walking with children in the park, you can meet a lonely interesting man and the same caring grandfather.
Recommendations for a divorced woman
A woman, from which her husband left to another, to cope with feelings and stress will help her friend. Psychologists give several recommendations:
- Allow yourself to be sad. Let people see a strong woman, but it is possible to cry out grievances at home, this will significantly ease the pain. The main thing is not to tighten with crying and not start feeling sorry for yourself beyond measure.
- Understand your feelings. During this period, many feel emptiness, loss and despair. Conversations with friends and relatives will help to understand your condition and look to the future.
- Busy yourself. Try to pay more attention to your hobbies. Free time is now enough to love yourself again.
- Experiment with the appearance. To change a hairdresser, to recolor hair in other color or completely to change style. A new "I" for another life is the motto of a confident woman after the divorce.
- Do not stay long alone. Do not be sad, sitting on the couch. Ahead are waiting for new acquaintances and interesting meetings. Perhaps my friends always do not get to spend time with a divorced woman. But there are many places where meeting strangers is capable of moving into friendship or a new love.
- Start to dream again.
If earlier the maintenance of the family budget lay on the spouse now search of work and care of the financial well-being will not leave time for experiences. Fatigue and a new circle of communication will distract from cheerless thoughts and send them to another channel.
If there is time, a small trip will speed up the prolongation of wounds and will allow you to look at the world from the other side. Especially if the trip will be accompanied by a small adrenaline rush:
- descent by boat along a mountain river;
- a rise to the mountain;
- jump from the bridge on the rope;
- flight on a paraglider.
In addition, there are many brave and free men on such trips. They will gladly get acquainted with a woman who already has a relationship experience and looks optimistically towards the future.
Divorced man
After a divorce, not the best times come for him. If women share experiences with their friends, then men keep their feelings within themselves. Unable to express sore, they hide the pain deep inside, and it reflects on the psyche and health. Negative thoughts and fear of perfect mistakes can lead to illness or an attempt to part with life.
Women need 1-2 years of quiet life to adapt to new circumstances. Men, trying to fill the void, are able to immediately marry, just not to stay alone. Or drown out the pain is not new hobbies, but alcohol and non-serious sexual relations. They lose interest in work.
Men, once again become single, are divided into three types:
- The militant and willing to harm. He does everything to ruin the life of his ex-wife. Often a man warns her about this during the divorce process. It is difficult for him to accept that his wife will start a new life without him. In this situation, everyone suffers the ex-wife, the husband and their children.
- Indifferent and detached. She perceives the divorce calmly, as this is his initiative and he has a new love. He feels guilty and does not go into conflict. If there are common children, try to remain an ex-wife friend.
- Recovered. During the divorce, he suddenly realizes that he loves his wife. Trying to get it back, but it rarely works out. For the reunion, the desire of two people is necessary.
The new life after the divorce depends on the social status of the spouses. Usually, a man loses more than just a wife. But if he earns well, then his influential friends and the favor of women are not a problem for him. Even if the wife decided to divorce him, he has many chances for an interesting life and meet with a new love.
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