15 principles of a Happy Family

Family life sometimes poses rather difficult tasks for us. It is necessary to take into account a lot of emotions and needs of close people along with their own, not to mention that everyone expects that both his emotions and needs will be taken into account to the same extent. However, the creation of a happy family should not turn into grueling work or be accompanied by quarrels.

Fifteen principles of a happy family are described below, which you can familiarize yourself with and acquaint your family by gathering together for a family council.

1. Every member of a happy family seeks to be an integral part of it

A family does not develop if some of its members do not want to become part of their family. After all, being a family means being one team - together in sorrow and joy. Every member of the family needs to make a conscious decision to be part of it, that is, to be considerate and caring towards the rest of the family.

2. Happy families build strong social ties

Families as a kind of team, of course, need to stick together, but in addition they must build no less strong social relationships. When meeting with neighbors, you should not just say hello or wave your hand, but stop and talk with them. Whole family visit public events and make new and interesting friends. Learn about the friends of each member of your family - at least know their names and personality traits or the characteristics of their lives, so that you not only understand who your family spends time with, but also ask deeper and more meaningful questions than questions like "You had a good time?".

3. Families stay together in good, and in bad situations

You do not have the right to leave your family because there are problems. Yes, at some point your child may find that parents become too intrusive, and want to hide in their room away from their attention; or you yourself can be harassed by the unbearable behavior of your son or daughter, overflowing the cup of your patience, but, however, you must stick together and overcome difficulties together. You can not be a family only in joy.

4. People in happy families have the opportunity to be themselves

The fact that people are part of the same family does not mean that they all should have the same interests as one. If your eldest son likes to play football, you do not have to force the younger one to practice this sport, especially if he likes drawing more. Although joint activities, such as hiking or vacation trips, are always useful, do not force your family members to be interested in what they do not have a natural inclination, do not do it just because all other family members adore this occupation.

5. In happy families, everyone spends valuable time with each other

Speaking about the campaigns and the joint holidays, it should be noted that the time that the whole family spends for their benefit is crucial for the acquisition of family happiness. You can not feel happy family, if you are not together! Useful time does not necessarily mean spending on entertainment or visiting museums. It can be spent simply having dinner together once a week or doing cleaning in the house by all family on Saturdays.

6. The members of the happy family are struggling for each other

Have you seen films in which the elder brother intercedes for the younger? Very touching and exciting, is not it? That's how it is in happy families. Each one protects one another. Everyone is struggling for the other members of the family. We need to love each other every day (no matter how unpleasant and perhaps even unworthy of love some members of the family sometimes seem) and sacrifice themselves and their time for the sake of others.

7. In happy families, everyone is responsible for their own happiness

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You can not expect that someone else will make you happy. This applies to friends, spouses and family members. A person should be able to find happiness in himself, even before he brings something into his family. The presence of dependence on other people only means that you make unreasonable demands on them and, possibly, prevent them from finding their own happiness. If each family member begins to focus on his own happiness, then he will fill his family with happiness. Think about how pleasant family dinners can be, when everyone is smiling and no one is sad.

8. Happy families keep these promises

If a person can not rely on a family, then he can not rely on anyone. If you promised that you will sit in the front row at a children's party, you should fulfill your promise. If a child has promised his parents that he will improve his grades, he should try his best! Keep your promises to family members so that they consider you a reliable and trustworthy person. On the other hand, try to give such promises that you can fulfill. Do not jump above your head in an effort to prove that you are a worthy member of the family.

9. Members of happy families are distinguished by patience

Do not try to get everything at once. Changes take time, and family members must understand this and be patient like no other. Your child, for example, may take some time to realize the need to fold and clean up your laundry after washing. Some family members may need a few reminders that they need to lift their wet towels from the floor in the bathroom. To get angry and shout is completely ineffective; Be patient and kind, and your family will begin to change to help you and the whole family as a whole.

10. Happy families forgive each other

When people stumble and make mistakes, they sometimes have to beg for forgiveness from friends or acquaintances, but they do not hold grudges in each other's families. Family members are those people who are with you day by day, shoulder to shoulder. They know you better than anyone, and they know that you are also a person, and every person in this life makes mistakes. Therefore, a family that really loves you will understand if you stumble, forgive and will continue to love you.

11. Members of happy families use words of care and support in communication

In such families do not use harsh, pungent and offensive words. There it is not accepted to quarrel or whine to convey your point of view. In communication, members of happy families use words of care and support. This contributes to the creation of an atmosphere of love in which every member of the family knows that he can calmly express his opinion and he will be heard without quarrels and scandals and can take everything he says to himself at face value and not look for veiled criticism or reproaches in words.

12. In a happy family, everyone shares their emotions

Everyone wants to have their own space in the house, but one can not completely close. In happy families, people share their emotions. This helps to create mutual understanding because each member of the family always knows what his relatives feel. If there is good news, the family rejoices with them. If there is a problem that one person can not solve, it can be shared with him by all family members. Your family is your best support system, use it and be ready to help others.

13. In a happy family, everyone is sick for each other

Family members are ill for each other. They hold fists for someone who passes a difficult exam or speaks at a conference with his report. They encourage each other when confidence is needed , and put a shoulder when something goes wrong.

14. All members of a happy family help each other

Family life is more than doing household tasks in turns, although this is also very important! Family members must help each other in all cases of life. When all the responsibilities for the house are distributed and everyone is responsible for their part of the work, one will not feel oppressed, having loaded all the burden of household duties on their shoulders. At the same time, family assistance can consist of anything from emotional support to the joint search for car keys in a restless and bustling morning.

15. In happy families, a sense of gratitude and gratitude is developed

When members of your family are helping you together in a certain way, do not forget to express gratitude! The fact that you are related and live together does not mean that you can accept the help of other family members as something self-evident. Always tell your family how much you appreciate and love it.

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5 languages of love

In fact, they are, of course, much more than the author of popular books on psychology has singled out - Harry Chapman. But if you do not really remember a single thing, if you have thoroughly forgotten what you once knew, then these five will seem to you a real treasure.

I get the impression that we live on the planet of the deaf ...

No, at first we all speak loudly on one common for all language of love - in the language of youthful hormones and pheromones whipping over the edge. But "the plumber came", we scooped out all the water and began to live, live peacefully. And here it is found that:

True affection can not be confused with Nothing. And she's quiet ...

Yes, I think to myself: so quiet that, at times, you will not hear. Louder! I want to shout. Louder, what are you mumbling about ?! It seems to you that your tenderness is "quiet", but for me, so it's not even there at all.

There is such an anecdote. The wife says to her husband with resentment: "You would even kiss me at a meeting! .." Husband: "Darling, after twenty years together lived - why these orgies?"

And indeed, the husband can be understood. Twenty co-lived years, the children grew up, I did not leave you, you do not change, I bring money to the house, a plate with mine - what evidence of love do you still need ?! Why these orgies ...

This is exactly how psychologically illiterate people reason. They bark loudly in their language of love, and our needs ... they wanted to sneeze. Approximately, this is how our pussy behaves, which brings us to a snow-white bed a freshly strangled rat - on, my hostess, I do not mind, you're good ... That's how daddies behave, a half-year-old child thrust a piece of dried fish into his mouth - eat son, grow peasant, soon and beer poured ...

If we want to live happily ever after, then the orgies of manifestations of love we need. Otherwise, there will be other orgy - scandal orgy and hysteria. After all, paints need to be added to life in some way? And negative colors, they are always at hand, they do not need to run at night to the store, on snowdrifts, to get from speculators ...

The first language of love. Compliments and praise

The first language is words and especially the intonation of words. This is for those who "love the ears." Not necessarily - women. Rather, those who love long, many and tastefully - once-go-va-riv-vat. Who has a rich speech. Who reads a lot. Who chatters for hours on the phone and loves the phrase: "What do you mean by that?". Who distinguishes between text and subtext. Who likes to leave comments ... Who emphasizes lines in books in pencil and (oh, horror!) Also writes them out in a special notebook.

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What do you think, what would be the best gift for such a person? Correctly - carefully weighed, selected Words of Love.

The second language of love. Time

This is the time you are willing to spend on a loved one. Time spent together and not necessarily qualitatively conducted.

Some of you do not need anything - just come and spend your time with them. Such here they have - the language of love ... I know, many this is very annoying. Some do not endure idleness, aimless walking through the streets or even worse - the seats in the house. Such people should try to understand: the most beautiful day can be filled not by events, but ... by each other. Here the window burns, Where again they do not sleep. Maybe they drink wine, Maybe they're just sitting there. Maybe just two people will not separate the two.

In every house, friend, there is a window like this.

The third language of love. Gifts of Santa Claus. Signs and symbols

"Dad brought me a real saw!". The car of happiness ... In this language of love, those in whom the hunter or the collector are dozing are talking. These people like to decorate themselves with trophies. As soon as you come to them, they sniff your bags and pockets: "What did you bring?". They love you through the things that you leave to them. And this is not necessarily diamonds and mink coats! Anything - just to be able to rotate in your hands, admire your eyes and demonstrate to friends. Or mourn for yourself in many years ... Please note: does your favorite person store theater tickets ten years ago? If yes, then he speaks this language of love. Such people holy follow the commandment: do not come to visit with empty hands, and the guests are expected the same. Empty hands for them, a symbol of indifference, an empty heart.

The fourth language of love

Specific cases. Help. It is very difficult for Romantics and whirrs in the clouds with such loved ones. You give them - movie tickets, a bouquet of flowers and a mountain of compliments, and they to you: "Here, there is nobody to cut grapes!". You give them a ride on a friend's yacht, and they tell you: "The leg at the table is staggering, the mirror hangs."

But know: if you at least once in your life roll up your sleeves, and spend the day on all fours, repairing the toilet bowl, they will remember this all your life. And when they remember this happiest episode from their history, tears will flow down their cheeks ... "Wow, how he loved me!"

The fifth language of love. Physical touch

Weasel. With such people - the easiest. But it's easier for those for whom it's not a burden. Let's put it this way: for two lovers, for whom the language of physical touches is native, to live the most amazing. They do not need anything from the world, in order to revel in shared happiness.

And if the soul asks everything at once?

But this can not be. If it is, then you just have not received anything for a long time. You and the toilet flow, and the mirror is not hung, and compliments to you are told only by the watchman, and physical touches you experience only in the bus, during peak hours.

How can we know what is most important to us, beloved ones? Do you remember what you are ready to do for your loved one when you are in a very good mood? What did you do most often when you intended to give it away ? What do you have best of all?

That's what you need to wait for in return. We always give others something that we badly need ourselves ...

So, if you have a loved one, explain it in simple, intelligible words: what exactly do you consider to be the most genuine expression of love. And ask him to do the same in turn - to explain to you. This, perhaps, is the only chance to save the marriage.

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7 languages of love

How beautiful is the peace and relations in the beginning of falling in love, everything is good, gifts, surprises, and so on. Then time passes and relationships can start to deteriorate. And we constantly ask ourselves the question: "What's the matter?"

After all, everything was good before. " And it may be that you talk in different languages of love. In the period of love, people talk in all languages, without thinking, using them, they just get at random, communicating with their loved ones.

After the peak of falling in love, everyone begins to communicate with their couple in their own language. And it is very important that you understand the language of love of your partner. For example, my language of love is gifts, when I want to do something pleasant to my beloved, I immediately think of a gift for him.

My husband's language is help, if he wants to show signs of attention and express his love he begins to help me. All people have different ways. Therefore, you need to communicate with a person in his language, so that relationships will not deteriorate in the future. Each person can have from one to three languages of love.

How do you determine in which language your partner communicates?

And this can be done on the following indicators:

• each person gives the beloved the most expensive for himself. Look at what your partner is offering you.


• Pay attention to what your partner is putting his soul into, what he likes in reality, and not in words


• the partner's language can still be determined by what he deprives you if he wants to punish you for something


• Your language can be determined by what most brings you pleasure and convenience

What are the languages of love?

So, these are the languages of love:

1) Gifts - for a person is not important the value of a gift to him is important attention, the expression of his feelings.

2) Help - it is important for a person to help you, but only as he sees fit, and not as you ask. If you ask such a person for help, give reasons for your request.

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3) Time is the most precious thing for such a person, this time, presented only to him, spent alone. No matter what you do together, the main thing is to be alone, without strangers.

4) Touch - the most important thing here is any kind of touching, kissing, even if there is no continuation after that.

5) Compliments - here the most important thing is words of encouragement, gratitude even for a trifle. It is very important to express your feelings in words, about what you hear (affectionately call your loved one, you can think up a gentle nickname), you see (everything you see attractive), feel (smell, taste, full acceptance of a partner). Read the article "Compliments. How to take them properly . "

6) Soulful conversation - it is very important for this person to share with you the most intimate, share plans for the future, prospects, but does not like to talk about the present. It is desirable to adjust to the timbre of the voice and pose of the partner (do not cross your arms on your chest, indicating that the conversation is not desirable)

7) Sex - the expression of their feelings shows during intimacy. And for him, intimate relationships are very important.

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12 principles of Healthy Love

When two people enter into a love relationship, the life of each of them should improve. If life gets worse, or if you pull each other down, in the end, someone will come to their senses and want to leave.

You can not buy love. If you do this, do not expect that your expenses will be repaid a hundredfold.

Avoid jealousy. By provoking jealousy, you play with fire. Someone will burn yourself. People are already prone to jealousy, it happens that they lack self-confidence, so do not deliberately call this feeling.

With a healthy love relationship, both partners depend on each other to the same extent.

A truly loving person does not require a partner to prove a reciprocal feeling. He himself proves his love to him.

Beware of the desire to change the partner. If you turn a partner into another person, remember that maybe this new person does not want to stay with you.

A person who is depressed is difficult to love. Love should make a person happy, but the society of your chosen one does not guarantee you happiness. Only you are able to make yourself happy or sad.

A woman wants to think that an inaccessible prince loves her, and not a suffering psycho. Men also do not like hysterics and so-called delayed-action bombs, which do not know what to expect, since it can explode at any time. The unpredictability of the partner shakes the nerves and kills the senses just as boredom is full and absolute predictability.

Rapidly flared love quickly exhausts itself. To find happiness as a constant value, one of the two should love reasonably. If the partner is silent in response to your outrageous outrage, this does not mean that he is deaf, does not mean that he is weak, does not mean that he is indifferent. This means that he has hands in which he holds himself.

If the partner has learned that it is possible to treat you badly, to convince him of the opposite will be very difficult.

If you doubt the expediency of the action you have planned, you should refrain from it. It is better to wait until the best decision comes to you.

Remember: in order to marry a prince on a white Mercedes, you must yourself be a princess in a red Porsche-cabriolet. Your life values should coincide. As a rule, people feel most comfortable with partners who are equal to them according to their social status.

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5 secrets of seduction in French

The most important thing that all women are deprived of when choosing their partner is, of course, freedom. No wonder that soon and lost the ease of communication, attractiveness for men and a special charm that is inherent only to women in search. Watching the behavior of Frenchwomen, Jamie realized that they are able to retain the right to remain inaccessible and desirable, even when in pairs.

"Would not it be great to have more time? Wait, think through many options, look at many men before choosing one? Here's what one Frenchwoman told us:

"Keep on living your life. Do not wait for his calls. When he calls the next time, say that you are busy, whatever he asks you for. But you can offer to do it another day. For example, he says: "What are you doing tomorrow night?", And you answer: "Oh, I have everything planned for this week. But I'm free on Sunday afternoon. " So you avoid evening meetings, even if you want it. "

The first thing we can face, trying to change the usual behavior and stop considering each man as a pretender to the hand and heart is a sense of time spent.

"We were brought up so that we were active. And that's why we think that we should have the opportunity to just call a man and ask why he does not invite us to the next meeting. But we all know that this does not work. "

What can help in this case? French women have a completely different view of the relationship between a man and women's behavior with him. Jamie formulates basic tips.

1. Do not stop dating

When we find someone more or less suitable we want to stop. We tire of constantly flirting, not pretending to feel, and being on guard. When the choice is made, is it worth continuing this game?

The author's recommendation: "Alas, this attitude is not in favor of our relationship with the boyfriend, husband or partner. This is because the principle of "locking yourself in four walls and relaxing" soon leads to a feeling of dissatisfaction. When a couple does everything together and does not bring anything "fresh" into their life - and at the same time excludes from it any flirting and communication with friends - boredom will not keep itself waiting. "

2. Do not open up to the end

Approaching a man, we want to become a part of it and make it ours. But with this approach, the partner begins to perceive you as something familiar and understandable to him from childhood. But the habit of losing value.

The author's recommendation: "Recently, during my trip to France, I observed a wonderful example of how French women use jealousy to add" pepper "to their love relationships. Me and my friend, a young American, have just returned from a trip around Burgundy, and she began to tell a funny story that happened to us on the road.

I knew perfectly well that her unusual enthusiasm was caused by the desire to impress the Frenchman, our interlocutor. A couple of years ago they had a novel, and in the air now and then "sparks flew." In general, she wanted to make him a little jealous, and so she ventured into the story of how we were entertained by men at the bar in Oxer. "

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3. Flirt is useful for everyone

We often refuse coquetry because we are afraid to destroy relations by betrayal or deceit. But as a result, we get a complete loss of interest of a man because it turns out that we no longer need anyone else. But a woman always attracts something special - something that distinguishes her from everyone else and interests many.

The author's recommendation: "There is nothing dishonest and manipulative in this. Just a light flirtation and a drop of jealousy can revive relationships and make our life a bit more fun. Frenchwomen know: to show your man that there are other men who find you attractive - a much stronger reception than complaints: "Why do not you give me more attention?".

4. Nobody belongs to anyone.

Belonging to someone completely and completely pleased only at first, when you want to become with your beloved one. Over time, personal space wants to return, and those who continue to claim it, can turn into a real persecutor and enemy.

The author's recommendation: "French women understand that a man will begin to lose focus as soon as he realizes that a woman has become his property. Therefore, they remain mysterious even for their husbands. It could mean a change in the daily routine, some amazing and unexpected act, a sudden trip for the weekend with a friend. These subtle actions are enough to give a man to understand that he did not fully understand it, that it still remains a mystery. "

5. Men love contented women

There is a conviction that a real man with one of his appearances in the life of a woman can fix it and solve all problems. In fact, problems never disappear, because this is part of our being. But the focus on someone who is responsible for everything or, on the contrary, is to blame for everything, exhausts by itself.

The author's recommendation: The "secret garden" of a Frenchwoman, of course, helps her to reunite with her source of strength, replenish the energy reserve and restore contact with her own psyche. Returning "to the real world," it carries with it a piece of mystery. Her man can feel something new - an aura that has changed a bit, some mystery - and begins to pay more attention to it. He does it not because she asked him about it, but because she showed him that her life's joys are not entirely dependent on him. "

In addition to the listed rules of Frenchwomen, the author advises adding to the relationship with a man a drop of play, romance and, most importantly, not to hurry.

"Finally, if there is a man in your life who really neglects you and behaves badly, let him go free. Do it gracefully and mercifully. If he is destined to be present in your life, he will return. If you are happily married, plan a romantic surprise for yourself and your husband. Just remember, do not try too hard. Just enjoy it. "

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