In order to properly behave in a conflict situation, it is necessary to clearly understand: what kind of person is before you? why is he behaving this way? What is your relationship? What does he want? And what do you yourself, in principle, want from this relationship?
Let's highlight the following main reasons for the negative behavior of one person in relation to another ...
1. Bad mood
A bad mood is one of the natural state of any man ... bad mood may be due to:
> the moral and psychological fatigue ( "fizzle out" is sometimes all - for rest and designed)
> minor incident (accidents, clashes strain and knock out normal track ...)
> Nakata life problems (dissatisfaction with life annoying, unsettled problems are straining, that's why problems have to be solved and, most importantly, solved in time),
> well, just a person can "get up on the wrong foot" ... - when everything somehow did not work out right away, fell down, "salt poured", etc.
And of course, people are "hot", with a serious character, the mood, in principle, is always bad (see point 3).
2. Conflict relations
Somewhere, with someone, somehow it did not work out ... (interests did not coincide, someone forged someone, naham ... someone ignores someone, someone does not like someone. ..) - and went-went ... It is not possible to establish a relationship, but it's easy to build up a conflict (like a snowball).
Someone is looking for the continuation of the conflict, someone "goes to the other side of the street" ... someone seriously does not need heavy relations and he tries to resolve the conflict.
If desired, bad relationships are easily established ... Not a few in the life of the cases when the strongest friendship began with just as strong a conflict ...
[caption id="attachment_863" align="aligncenter" width="360"]
Why do people attack[/caption]Well, in principle, if people in the depths of the soul are drawn to each other, for all their conflict, the relationship can be adjusted "once, twice, three" ... - just one person has to make one, small but constructive step in the other side - and immediately everything is good.
3. Negative, aggressive, selfish nature of the striker
The desire to make scandal, spoil relations, humiliate, self-exalt, attack, destroy ... comes from within, out of the soul ...
The most unpleasant incident of all the above listed has a variety of varieties ...
The soul is filled with anger, negativity, envy, jealousy, resentment ... And all this is bursting out, to other people -
"I feel bad and let it be bad for everyone (him)" (see the phenomenon of emotional vampirism ).
4. Attacked by the strength of not high maturity, low level of culture ...
Primitive consciousness, weak mind, not the ability to adequately understand what is happening ... - much happens at the level of instincts (to fight, give up or run) ...
Roughness, rudeness ..., "wind in the head and smoke in one place" is a matter of social and emotional immaturity, lack of culture (is it worth it to be like?)
"As a minister of culture, I can explain the reason for rudeness. Culture-cartoons are not enough " (anecdote)
5. Attack, just as specifically, with the aim of provoking ...
The goal: to get a man out of himself, to deprive his peace of mind
Why is this necessary?
- for example, simply to cause moral harm, or expose a person not restrained, rude (and this is reputation)
- substitute, or even how to wrap it not restraint against himself
- or to check the person of interest for emotional stability , restraint, poise ...
6. Attacks also because the "victim" itself provokes a scandal
Some people sometimes do not notice that they themselves initiate a conflict, but they perceive the attacks of others sensitively. It's not for nothing that people say, "You'll see a speck in someone else's eye, you will not see logs in your own"
7. And they attack simply, for fun, for the sake of joking, friendly laughter
This is a normal, friendly situation, when you want a cheerful mood, a normal friendly laugh.
See, for example, the series "Interns", "Univer" - there are amusing jokes and fun ...
For all who want to
- develop their emotional stability in situations of verbal attacks - rudeness, sarcasm, insults ...
- learn to manage your emotions ...
- and most importantly - to effectively resolve various conflict situations.