Tips of a psychologist-if a father is not interested in a child

The modern rhythm of life constantly creates new family models: civil and guest marriages, divorced couples who raise children in turn, independent mothers, taking full responsibility for the care of the child. It's no secret that the maternal shoulders often bear more responsibility for the child. What if my father does not fulfill his role?

Papa can Difficulties with the pope arise, as a rule, where the harmony of relations between the parents themselves is disturbed. Therefore, ideally, it would be worthwhile to figure out whether everything is in order in the family. But in practice, it is quite difficult at the same time to solve problems of relations and to share care for children. In addition, mistakes that mothers make are not always connected with quarrels with their spouses.

1. The behavior of the father can absolutely not suit you, but you will not be able to replace it with your guardianship in a double size. Equally important for the child is communication with the father and communication with the mother.

2. You can try to teach your father to be a dad, but it's wrong to impose on him the style that you think is the only true one. 3. It is important not to confuse your claims to the fatherly manner of education and the feelings of the child himself. You may not like that Papa participation is limited to a joint evening viewing of cartoons, but the kid of this may be quite enough.

4. In finding out the relationship with the pope, whether they concern your personal affairs or issues of upbringing, children should not be dragged.

Father is a good lad! The task of "re-education" of the pope from the very beginning can seem difficult and almost impossible, especially since it is not far from the truth. The very idea of instilling in the adult an established truth about the importance of fatherhood in the fate of children is already strange. After all, the one who voluntarily decided to become a dad seems to understand this without further explanation.

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However, in practice, there are many obstacles. Ignoring the duties towards the child is associated with fears not to cope, the lack of good examples of communication with his father, the conviction that the role of the father is earnings, and everything else is for personal discretion and pleasure. In addition, and on the part of the spouse there may be unconscious jealousy towards the wife, discontent with her role and a simple misunderstanding of the situation.

But in reality, all this is completely overcome. Observance of certain rules in communicating with the pope in a short time can change the situation for the better. It is important to learn to distinguish and separate by itself interest in the child and the obligation to raise him. You can be a loving father, but do not understand how to raise children. There are other examples: overly active fatherly education blocks ordinary human kindness and tenderness.

How to interest.

It is not necessary to imagine a man as an "evil investigator," attracting him solely in order to restrain a child who has been upset. Participation of the spouse should be comprehensive and harmonious, and not consist in shouting or punishment. At the same time, if the pope has already taken some decision, it should not be canceled.

Nevertheless, if you see that the father shows frank rudeness or aggression towards the child, humiliates and insults him, it is necessary to intervene and explain the inadmissibility of such behavior.

In no case can we ridicule the father's behavior in the presence of the child. On the contrary, the policy of strengthening his authority will help: "Dad can do this and that," "it's better to ask Dad, he knows for sure." Ask your father to avoid evading possible answers to children's questions whenever possible, because thanks to him the child really learns about things that you do not know. A sense of self-worth and wisdom is a good motivator.

You can find a common occupation. It is possible that the father and child went to the museum, interesting and to the pope, played a game that the father loves. If even this stupid computer "shooter", which you do not approve. If you see that some entertainment does not correspond to the age of the child or is dangerous to him, it's worth talking about it.

It is important not to be ashamed to ask help to solve some domestic issues. At the same time it is necessary that the father really understand that one can not do without his help. But here we must not overdo it, turning everything into an uninterrupted obligation.

Be sure to leave your father and child alone - at home or for a walk. In "free" contact, communication will be adjusted much faster. Sometimes you can "slukavit", running away from home under the pretext of numerous cases (and however, there are always cases).

But you can also make your own efforts: for example, to play together in a threesome. This will also strengthen family relations. Introduce the father in the course of the case, as the child behaves in his absence: he misses him when he is at work, waiting for his return. Collect a collection of all the funny and touching, said the child for the day, and if something of this is connected with the pope, then this is of particular importance.

But criticism in complex cases is not constructive. Moreover, what you think is "nonsense" is not always a bad thing. Excellent, when a man behaves like a child and can move to a more comfortable for the kid style of communication.

Encourage dad's communication with other happy fathers, carry out forays into those families where parents actively communicate with their children. Such examples can become contagious.

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